14 year old post lockdown

[Rabbitroad29]

Hi there
Hoping to come on here for some common ground. My teenage daughter is a different person since lockdown number 3. She used to love school, did all the extra curricular activities and spoke to all her family.
Since returning to school in March , she has become so stressed and worried about lessons that she refuses to go to some and will go to the pastoral office.
She has self harmed twice, has panic attacks but also refuses not to go to school.
The main issues are severe anxiety over tests and PE. Her head of year has a real lack of compassion and understanding, stating that my daughter should feel different if she is the only child not able to take a test.
She has friends at the school she will speak to the counsellor but not her family. I get texts from her but she refuses to talk to me in person at home.
Gp is trying to refer her but it is a long road. I have a daughter in year 11 too, who is stressed about assessments.
My husband is a nurse and I am a teacher and we have seen so much of this when it gets handled the wrong way.
I have written a letter of complaint to the school because they forced her to do PE and then explained that she was having netballs thrown at her head.
She loves music and will happily go and play in a wind band.
I feel so sad that she won’t talk to our family as I don’t know what is happening at school unless I ask the pastoral office.
I’m so worried that I’m not sleeping .
Anyone else’s child change overnight?

I’m sorry you didn’t have any replies it might be better in general chat? Or even in the Coronavirus board?
My DD is struggling but not from lockdown. It might be that she has not changed overnight as such perhaps it has just crept up in her through the last year and a half.
I’m of the opinion that you try and pull all the stressful things before it gets too much especially when you know a child is not swinging the lead. So I would say no PE and no to random testing unless they can find a way to help her like let her do them in the pastoral office or make an accommodation.
Have you explained how serious it is in a meeting? Self harm etc ? At the moment a lot of schools are just brushing it off as lockdown anxiety but self harm is serious she obviously isn’t just “a bit anxious”
The school sound rubbish I would go above head of year.
If she is still going to school that is fab of her and she’s need support before it becomes a school refusal situation she’s obviously doing her best to crack on but just needs them to be a bit gentle with her.
Sorry if this is not much help I just wanted to reply it’s very tough times when your child is unwell.
Some people have found a journal a good way of talking so you write a question such as “what could we do to help at home and at school” and then ask her to write an answer back maybe ? The no talking thing is hard.