If you go private , what worked ?

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

Hi
I’ve taken a crisis day off work as my sons MH is off the scale and his school refusal and meltdown are impacting us all terrible

I’ve managed to get some ST therapy for me , yay !

But where I can’t see wood for trees is what help to get for son
At this stage I’ll beg , borrow and go private

But what I’m stuck on is what’s the best solution for a child with
Ptsd from abusive dad , school refusal and depression & anger

Family therapy , child psychologist , child psychiatrist , meds ....!?

The last thing I want to do is throw my hard earned savings at something that won’t work

Any experiences greatly appreciated

Thanks 🙏

Fuck me child mental health is a complex one hey

And don’t even start me on CAHMS
I’m more like to win the lottery that get a call back
I’m not dissing them but they are clearly drowning and under resourced

How old is the child?

Start with a child psychiatrist, they can do counseling and medications and refer on if needed. Make sure they specialise in children of the correct age though, adolescents are different to young dc

For adolescents the most effective form of therapy for poor mental health is a combination of therapy and medication. It can take several tries to find the best drug as different people respond to different ones. Also you have to start with a small test dose to check for side eff3cts before you work up to a therapeutic dose. It can take about 6 weeks to see an impact. But it is worth pushing through.

You also need to get advice from the psychiatrist on handling a dc with MH as homelife has a huge impact on helping or hindering treatment.

Thanks
He is 13
He has a school therapist but due to patient confidentiality she won’t talk to me
But I’ve emailed her today and said I need her feedback

I’m writing a list so my first entry is
:child psychiatrist

Thanks so much

I second a private child psychiatrist.

DD has combination of therapy and medication. Only thing keeping her in an even keel.

If psychiatrist thinks medication will work and you agree, you can ask for shared care with your GP and get it prescribed through your local surgery. This works in theory, but my GP said no; I think if I’d gone in and wept on her she might have said yes, but I was too angry and weary to cry so I just paid for a private prescription instead.

Just to add we had been to GP, school counsellor, psychologist, several professionals for autism diagnosis and it’s only been psychiatrist who has had any effect on how she feels. The others were kind and sincere but they were not what she needed.

So 13 is right at the edge of the adolescent phase, have a talk to a few psychiatrists and see if you connect with someone. You will be working with them for several years, so you need to feel like you can trust them. You also want someone that your DS is likely to respect and talk to. They need to open up and talk about scary things. It needs someone who can tell when the dc is just making things up to get the session over with (been there with my ds). What worked for my ds was a strong fatherly type figure, it was the combination of not taking any shit and ‘you can learn on me I am strong enough’ that got him to open up and all the motherly ‘poor you’ style ladies didnt help him at all as he ran rings round them

Also this is not a quick fix. Plan on needing several years of help, but it is worth it and with doing while they are young as life gets more difficult the older you are. My ds is coming out the other end aged 19 and I am so glad we battled through

I have , by some miracle , booked
To see a psychiatrist
And it’s this month

Thanks for the fast advice
Really helped

We saw a psychiatrist and had medication for severe OCD and other issues. We are about week 8 now and the medication has helped balance a bit. It’s definitely the way to go. I pissed about with a private therapist for 6 weeks talking therapy which was a total waste of money.
We have regular reviews so will talk about what is needed again and can discuss other therapies like CBT.
Our GP has now taken on the prescription so I only paid for 2 prescriptions privately and the consults but worth every single penny.
My DD is 14.

Nice going.

I’m getting a few TT sessions for me as
I’m on my knees

But it’s very very hard for kids
To engage

I know I’m staying the bleeding obvious but it’s shocking how little there is for kids

We did a consultant adolescent psychiatrist. We found her through BUPA as the GP refused to help and CAMHS were spectacularly unhelpful.

However, I would also counsel that therapy can be long term and like comfortable shoes, it takes a few trys to find the right one.

With a combination of BUPA and private funding dd recovered. The therapy was limited to £500 and there was no insurance cover for ASD/ADHD assessments - dd was diagnosed with ADHD.

Without the BUPA contributions I spent about £6000 - we had self harm by od, cutting and food withdrawal alongside the anxiety and depression TBF dd needed ad's to get to a place to engage with therapy.

We were lucky in that we had a combination of money and insurance.

If resources are limited I would suggest that every interaction with CAMHS is followed up in writing, confirming what was discussed, what was agreed and time frames. I'd also send everything by registered post to ensure an audit trail. It goes for every conversation - they are slippery so and so's.

Also get your MP onside and don't hesitate to copy in your CCG.

Re paid for therapy people like Relate have moved into this space and their therapists are good, professionally monitored and it is means tested. Also if CAMHS etc recommend other stakeholders/charities for therapy Google the people working for those organisations to see if they have private practices as well - they are likely to work to reasonably high standards.

Therapists/Psychologists etc working with umbrella organisations tend to have closer supervision. Google a little bit and you will be able to identify who is part of an umbrella organisation.

I’m sorry to hear about the challenges you are facing and empathise. I cannot believe how hard it is to find a private psychiatrist that specialises in Children and Adolescents anywhere near locally!! My 12 year old DD took an overdose just over 2 weeks ago. To go from a nurse sitting outside an open door 24 hours a day to coming to your now entirely medicine free home with upstairs window locks applied, belts hidden and any number of other reducing risk strategies and struggling to get appointments as you puddle about on your own is just unfathomable to me. I have researched for hours to find child psychiatrists locally (ideally one that also works or has worked with CAMHS in Wales or South West) but I have failed they are rarer than hens teeth! In the meantime it feels like life is just in a holding pattern of keeping DD safe and trying to make sure she has happy things each day, maybe try to talk about feelings a bit (not keen at all) and watching for the ‘dead inside’ stare. I just want her to feel better, she’s got huge potential, her teachers couldn’t be more positive but she just says she ‘doesn’t care’. I feel so powerless to help or to find the appropriate support to help her help herself 😞 How did you go about identifying a qualified professional you could trust, I have real issues with that atm. Xx

@Thisisworsethananticpated

I have , by some miracle , booked To see a psychiatrist And it’s this month

Thanks for the fast advice
Really helped

Glad to hear thiS

Heartbreaking to hear how common this is for many of our teenagers

What about pushing the school to get the school Ed psych on board?
Ehc request on grounds of semh?

Sending millions of oneday

We all must have HOPE
I’ve overcome mental health , and many others have
It’s just so hard when they are little
And don’t have any life experience

I’ve emailed her , she won’t fucking talk to me 😡 sorry but it pisses me off as they don’t give you anything back , feedback , guidance

Sending millions of oneday

We all must have HOPE
I’ve overcome mental health , and many others have
It’s just so hard when they are little
And don’t have any life experience

I’ve emailed her , she won’t fucking talk to me 😡 sorry but it pisses me off as they don’t give you anything back , feedback , guidance

@onedayatatime2021 so sorry for what you and your DD are going through have they not put you in a support network after being at hospital? I can’t believe you still have to find your own psychiatrist that’s terrible.
With regards finding someone I just messaged all the local private psychiatrists on the list I googled and went with the first reply that had experience with young people.
I looked into his work history as best I could online and saw he had worked at our local private hospital and done some NHS work. His current clinic had good reviews.
We sat waiting for our zoom appointment and I was just praying “ please be nice, please be kind”
Luckily he was very kind and warm and professional but it was all a stab in the dark.