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Please can someone help me manage expectations of emergency cahms meeting today

1 reply

freckles20 · 07/03/2021 09:11

I want to start by saying I know Cahms has major issues and that many many young people and parents feel let down and angry with them. I'm feel for anyone needing help and struggling to access it. I know that we are unlikely to get help today, but I'm clinging onto a chance of being lucky.

DS (14) has been struggling for some time, has been seeing relate counsellor for 6 weeks. Most of this has been confidential other than them sharing with me that he has thoughts of suicide and scored very poorly on the mood scales.

Things have been very very hard, but to keep this thread shortish he came to me on Friday morning and said he'd had disturbing thoughts of suicide all week and in the night they were very strong.

Lots of phone calls later we have an appt with cahms this afternoon. Initially they wouldn't see him as when they spoke to him over the phone he refused to agree to a face to face appointment (but he did tell them how bad he's feeling). Later he changed his mind- hence the appointment.

I admit I did push him to agree to the appointment. I explained it's our best chance of helping him.

It's dawning on me that they are likely to send us away without any help based on what I've heard and read about cahms.

The doctor o spoke to on Friday was very cold, matter of fact and made no effort whatsoever to engage my son in offering and help- I felt like it worked to his advantage if DS didn't agree to seeing them face his face.

I'm really worried about eroding DS' trust in me by over emphasising the need for this appointment just for him to be let down by them. At the time I felt like I had no choice as I'm so worried about him.

Added to the mix is the fact that he is very private. He usually doesn't tell me anything of how he is feeling, despite my best efforts to be open and understanding- so day after day I can see that he's really struggling but I've little idea of how bad he's feeling and how close he is to any drastic actions.

Can anyone offer any thoughts as to how to manage his expectations wrt today's appointment, and what to say if they won't help?

OP posts:
Littleguggi · 08/03/2021 20:29

'I want to start by saying I know Cahms has major issues and that many many young people and parents feel let down and angry with them'

As someone who works in CAMHS I have come across many many young people and families (more so than not) who are very pleased with their input actually.

How did the appt go btw?

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