Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you need professional help, please contact your GP or local mental health support services.
Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you need professional help, please contact your GP or local mental health support services.
Child mental health
Is this manipulatative behaviour?
Pentiumgold · 23/02/2021 09:10
Hi,
My middle dd is 17 and last July took an OD and ended up in hospital. The OD was due to a combination of issues (school, lockdown and discovering I'd had a very brief affair).
I had major MH issues myself during lockdown and acted very out of character, I relied too heavily on wine and ended up chatting to several men online, one of which I met twice. My middle dd discovered the messages. I am deeply upset about my actions and beat myself up inside every day abut what I did. I am very lucky to have an amazing dh who supported me through this time.
However, my middle dd is giving me a very hard time still. She does not trust me and gets very cross with me if I have a glass of wine, I'm guessing she does this as she is afraid I may repeat my actions.
Last week she said I had to choose between her or wine and that if I had a glass of wine she would do something silly again.
I have absolutely no intention of ever doing anything like that again and after a hard week at work my husband and I like to share a bottle of wine.
Is she being unreasonable in her request or am I?
nellly · 23/02/2021 09:12
You are. 100%. It's a blunt tool but from her point of view wine is the culprit, which is probably an immature way of not facing up to a parents failings. It's still very recent and her whole world was turned upside down.
She probably feels on the edge of coping and doesn't feel she can deal with that again hence feeling that if you drink she'll consider killing herself.
Consider therapy both separately and as a family
Pentiumgold · 23/02/2021 09:42
Thanks Nelly, she is currently seeing camhs weekly and receiving cbt, we have also asked for family therapy.
I don't however, think she is being entirely honest with them about what has happened and therefore I am not sure whether to contact them myself and let them know, she's 18 next month so it's really treading on a fine line.
Ruthjosy · 25/02/2021 01:29
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rolorun · 25/02/2021 21:40
Mumsnet why did you remove the last post? Are people not allowed an opinion?
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