Teenager with extreme health anxiety

[caughtalightsneeze]

My daughter has always been anxious, with OCD tendencies. She attended CAMHS as a primary school child but was discharged with a breezy 'we're not seeing any progress and most children grow out of it'.

As she has got older, it has got worse. She's now 15 and deathly scared of, well, everything. Lockdown was disastrous for her as she is now almost afraid to leave the house. So far, she goes to school without protest but I know she is terrified of all the people there.

I used to suffer terribly from health anxiety and I had a lightbulb moment and realised she might be having the same problem. I have now ascertained that she is. I knew she wasn't sleeping properly -it turns out she is afraid to sleep, in case she doesn't wake up. She is suffering from physical symptoms which sound likely to be anaemia. But she is utterly terrified of going to the doctor and is refusing to do so. She won't agree to talk to anyone about the anxiety as she is afraid they will laugh at her, and she won't see a doctor about the physical symptoms as she says she won't consent to a blood test, so what is the point? She won't even take a multivitamin as she is so afraid that it might be dangerous or she might be allergic.

I'm at my wit's end. Her school work is going downhill, she was top of her class in everything and now she can no longer concentrate as she is so mentally and physically exhausted. Her friendships are drifting away as she is so tired by pretending to be normal that she'd just rather avoid people.

I want to help her but don't know how.

Tbh if she were mine I'd drag her to the GP

If this were in normal times, I would make an appointment and put pressure on her to go.

But, it's all telephone consultations at the moment and she struggles to speak on the phone.

I am going to ring the GP myself tomorrow, but she's not a small child so they'll want to talk to her and that will be difficult.

Could she write a list of what’s bothering her and you read it out?
Could she write an email you can send to the GP?
What have school suggested?
Health anxiety is particularly awful to have right now. No one would laugh at her for feeling so awful.
What helped you?
Could you look at dietary ways to help anaemia?

What helped me most was a combination of CBT and medication.

I suppose at her age they would be reluctant to prescribe medication? I don't think she would agree to take it even if they did because one of the huge factors in her anxiety is a fear of allergies. She doesn't eat very well either, for the same reason. She has quite a limited diet partly because she is very afraid of trying something new in case she might be allergic.

Writing things down might be a good option. She feels safe telling me because she knows I have suffered too. She didn't know until I said to her 'do you feel like x,y,z?' and she said 'how did you know that?' and I told her that I had gone through those feelings too.

School are providing practical help with her anxiety around speaking (she is almost silent at school) but I don't think they are aware of the other anxieties.

Stop being drippy. Remove the WiFi code til she engages with the GP and other services. You are the parent. She’ll know you do it out of love.

Might be worth talking to them. They may be able to rope in CAMHS or whatever it’s called now!
If she needs medication then that’s one route. CBT could also be useful. I know I was offered an online course or a reading list. Could a dietician work with her? Any history of allergies?
Oh and it sounds like you’re doing a bloody brilliant job too!!

She needs CBT
Ask GP to refer and check out :
www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Health-Anxiety

I'd really recommend hypnotherapy for this. It worked wonders for my DD and she only needed 8 sessions.

Thank you everyone. I hadn't thought of hypnotherapy, I will do some research on that as well.

If GPs were doing face to face appointments it would be so much easier. It's not that she's being stubborn or awkward, she just tries to speak on the phone but no words come out. I'm the only person she has ever had a telephone conversation with, she has never even spoken to her dad on the phone. And even my conversations with her are only her answering yes or no to questions that I ask her.

Does her GP practise offer video chat appointments? I know it’s not the same as face to face but it’s a good alternative. There’s also 7 cups, they offer free online therapy, online chats and chat rooms where she can find people who understand how she feels. I hope this helps
www.7cups.com/

*the online therapy costs money but the chat rooms are free