Those of you with children struggling with anxiety and depression how do you stop it dragging you down?

[M1ssour1]

I do ok most of the time but always have that feeling of worry and sadness in my tummy. Some body told me you’re only as happy as your least happy child. I don’t want that to be the case.

I have to say that, unfortunately, that statement is true.

I don't think you can be happy if one of your children isn't.

I take anti depressants - it helps me cope and be present for my other children and my job.

I talk to 4/5 very good friends and I don't hide the illness to others (I say as much as I need to for protective reasons but don't keep it like a secret).

I've also been on a course with other parents and have them for support.

Even so, I am worried most of the time BUT because of the above steps, I am not bogged down by it. I do have some very sad days where I retreat, cry and wallow but they are few and far between.

Good luck to you, it's a very difficult situation. I how your child is getting help and that you are too.

I'm massively struggling.

Not helped that my usual de-stresser of swimming isn't available to me right now.
My y11 isn't in school right now - too anxious & I think she is depressed too, we are only just starting to get help for her after months.

I have my first counselling session booked for next week.

I walk, lots. Don’t think you ever stop worrying about them and if they’re ok but when you definitely know they’re not it eats away at you (speaks from experience). It’s true though that you can’t help others if you don’t look after yourself, supports need to be strong or they crumble.

For me I make sure that every day I get out for a walk in the fresh air and listen to an audiobook or podcast. It’s total me time and I value it. I watch the birds, look at the trees and just have a mindless walk where I’m not trying to find a solution to anything.

It’s got me through some tough times.

If you have a dog or can walk a dog it’s lovely to watch them taking such joy in simply being out and sniffing new smells. You focus on that simple joy and it does really help.

Yes to dog walking but only available to you on your own if you are able to leave your child on their own or have someone to watch them.

I take my child with me to get them out - they are off school too. Lucky for me, they LOVE dogs so is therapeutic as well as good exercise.

Oh god yes this. I wish I had the answer. There was a film or something that described the mother as the 'sunshine maker'. It makes me sob that I can't do that, and instead the gloom sets over both of us. The main thing that helps me cope is sleep. Like 9 hours a night and I'm so much more likely to be able to handle it.

I'm having a sad day. Eldest is not too bad but youngest just shouted at me - I've retreated to my room unsmiling and demotivated.

Sertraline
Parenting course
Exercise and gardening
Talking , telling people

But I had such a dip last week
I agree it’s hard to be happy when a child isn’t

Hi, I’ve just stumbled across this post whilst looking for a way to post my own but I became a mumsnet member only yesterday and have no idea how 😩 But, the reason I came to mumsnet is because of my daughter.
She’s 14 and is suffering with a lot of anxiety.
I’m so worried and find myself just crying a lot of the time, not knowing what to do.
It all started a year ago, and yes I think lockdown has a lot to do with it.
Prior to lockdown she was okay.
She had a small group of friends in school and even had a boyfriend.
A few months into the first lockdown she lost contact with the group and her boyfriend broke up with her because she wasn’t putting in any effort with texting him back etc.
She’s always been up and down with friends. Since she started secondary school it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster ride. And, right now, she doesn’t talk to anyone from school.
I guess I didn’t really notice anything was wrong until the approach of going back to school the first time after lockdown1.
She was so hesitant and even spoke a lot about moving schools.
I thought there must be more to it like she was being bullied but she wasn’t.
It was when I took her to the hairdressers I knew there was something more serious wrong than just a teenager not wanting to go to school.
She sat in the salon chair shaking, not talking and breathing really heavily. It was heartbreaking.
I know now that she was having a panic attack.
It was following this that I called our GP.
I spoke to the doctor and explained all of this to him. I was sent some links to some mental health websites.
I searched for ages trying to find a way of getting her to see someone or some sort of help.
All I could find was a sort of message/email service where she could talk to someone. Well, there’s no way she was ever going to do this.
I found myself using the service and followed their advice which was to be there for her and ask her if there was anything I could do.
There was nothing though, of course.
Anyway, she did go back to school and things did seem to get a little better but nothing like how it was before. And, now we’re back in lockdown and she’s not in school and I just know it’s going the same way again.
She wouldn’t even walk to the shop with me today. She doesn’t want to leave the house at all. She literally just goes to her Dads at the weekend but that’s just getting in a car and going to another house.
She enjoys playing Minecraft on her phone and laptop and loves watching some YouTubers that play the game. But, recently she’s spoke a lot about how she has no actual friends to play with. She said one of her friends keeps texting her but she doesn’t reply because she doesn’t want to.
I know it’s her that’s pushing them away. I just don’t know why when she’s so desperate to actually have friends.
I find myself just sitting with her in her bedroom while she plays her games just so I know that she’s okay.
I’m absolutely heartbroken and don’t know what to do!
I’m so sorry for using this post to post my own worry.
If someone could also tell me how to use mumsnet it would also be greatly appreciated 🤣

Thank you all :)

Hi I'm no expert on mumsnet so I'll leave that for someone else! But I wanted to say that I'm thinking of you, it's all consuming when your child is not right. At this age the schools being shut is disastrous. I see so many posts about making the most of it, family time etc etc. What about the teenagers who are becoming agrophobic, self esteem on the floor, isolated and living life on YouTube. You're really really not alone.
There are lots of counsellors doing video consultations, do you think we might engage with that? Anything that helps her open up and come up with ideas for feeling better would help.

@K1r5t if you look at the bottom of the page and your phone your should have a line of options one of which is Add Post. If you are in child mental health and you press add post it will let you add your own question and ask for the title etc.
Hope this helps. I found some private counselling for my DD which helped for a year but sadly we are back to struggling now and going to pay for a psychiatrist appointment to get a plan of treatment.
I am afraid there is not much help from Mental Health services unless you are in crisis or present at A &E.
we had some ridiculous nonsense offered like a drop in cafe where you may or may not see someone trained it was usually volunteers. They said if the trained person was there she might be able to access some CBT but it was not guaranteed!
Young Minds seem to offer some good advice on their website.