Do school need to know all this?

[ComplexNeeds]

DC self harming & have told school thinking they’d offer support. But they just seem to want lots of info. They want the psychiatrist’s phone number & a list of the meds (none taken whilst at school) and for DC to sign a contract. It’s not what I was expecting. Is this the usual response from schools?

I would imagine so as they have a duty of care for your daughter. If anything happens at school they need to know where
To go.

What would you like them to do / are you particularly concerned about?

Sorry she is going through a shut time.

Absolutely tell them about what your DC is going through. They need as much info as possible to know what they're dealing with, so they can try to help him/her.

I had to let 12yr old DD's school know she had bruised herself and they have referred her to counselling.
Although this is already better than previous support in years via primary school, she doesn't have a psychiatrist or see her GP.

It's bloody hard isn't it .

I can understand why you feel these questions are intrusive, but I can understand from their duty of care they want to know which medication she is taking. I would find the request for her psychiatrist's phone number a bit odd.
Why would they need this? As far as I know he isnt even allowed to confirm that she's a patient to outsiders because it would break his confidentiality duty of care.

Also before you give them lots of information, I would want to know who had access to it. It's great they want to help your daughter and provide proper safe guarding but I would want to know about some things 1) why they need it and 2) who can access this information.

@LaBellina yes, that’s my worry. They said absolute zero about what they would offer. It was very one-sided. They wanted a lot of information. It seemed very much about them covering their backs. What’s with them wanting DC to sign a contract? I think I need to ask to see it before she signs anything.m, don’t I?

Can a child sign a contract????

Of course you need to see it and approve it as her legal guardian. It's bloody weird to ask a child to sign any contract in any case.

Absolutely need to see anything g they want DC to sign.

I would respond saying haopy to work collaboratively on ensuring DC is safe whilst at school, but could you just ask 1) why do they need specific information, b)what is its intended purpose and does it fit into a care plan you get to see and get them to sign/ commit to and c) who has access to the data.

They’ve said they want the psych to confirm that DC should be attending school. School refusal has never been an issue. I even said that missing school would raise anxiety and make issues much worse.
The kids sign lots of contracts that the parents don’t see, behaviour, IT etc. so in that respect it’s not unusual.
But, it seems odd. I’m also thinking if they want to have a contract it should also state what their responsibilities are. These weren’t discussed. What should we ask for?
I’m now regretting telling them.

That's really strange. Seems like they're desperately trying to cover themselves legally instead of focusing on the real issue which is helping your daughter.

Indeed. But I’m not too sure what to ask for.

I'd want to know what is in the contract. If it has anything to do with equating self harm with a behaviour issue that has consequences in school if she does it, she shouldn't be signing it. Her treearnent is between her and her psychiatrist and she needs to not be in a situation where school could punish her for her illness.

I'd want to see the contract and what exactly it means for your daughter. I can't see anything beneficial to her that would need one. I wouldn't want her even seeing it much less signing it before seeing it for myself.
Have they made any noises about what type of support if any she'll get from them?

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble they’ve said absolutely zero about any sort of support. It was a telephone call. They just asked lots of questions, wanted to know who the psych is, why camhs haven’t contacted school (on waitlist for camhs - psych is private), wanting Psych’s details, wanting medicine info. Said DC needs to see a particular staff member if/when feels fragile and needs to sign contract to say will do that. Oh, and school would not have a clue if I’d not told them.
There is a senco at school and I wonder if they’d be more helpful. DC is in an exam year and although won’t want to drop any subjects (this would increase anxiety) I wonder if there’s something they could do?
How do others liaise with school? What do schools usually do?

Op as dramatic as it might sound, I would actually consider getting a bit of legal advice before you sign anything. They're making a huge fuss about it and I'd do it for my own peace of mind if I could afford it.
It's a shame though that they react in such way that I think you should actually have to consider this!

School nurse has just called me saying that’s she’s not allowed to attend school until they get a letter from her psychiatrist saying she’s well enough to attend. I’ve asked the psych - he’s private and will charge £225 to do a letter. I’ve left messages telling school this. It’s unbelievable when she wants to attend school and exclusion will exacerbate symptoms.

That is truly utterly bizarre!!!!

Sorry posted too soon.

Don't they have a legal obligation to provide your child her education?
In your shoes I would be extremely pissed off and notify the school inspection immediately about this. Can't imagine they would approve of this situation.

Had similar - needed a report which cost £600 before allowed to return to school and required a behavioral contract that there would be no self harming. Private school so they can ask for what they like I'm afraid.

Yes, indie school. I’m so so disappointed with them. I really don’t need this added aggravation and seriously regret telling them.

School have a duty of care and should be putting your dds health above all else.

However, I think, in a clumsy way they are trying to do this.

Mental health in schools is massive and they might be worried about any action being taken by your dd on site and fear of her not being able to be watched at all times.

I wouldn't pay for the psych report - I would ask that they work with you. If you feel she is safe in school then that's your responsibility? You need to see what's on the contract.

It does seem to me though, if DD says she wants to be in school and that missing it would make them worse, is it the pressure of school contributing and would a break from the environment (with home learning and support from you - if feasible) work?

@andsoitbeginsagain absolutely, she’s become much worse in the last 3-4 weeks in line with returning to school. She wants to be there so nothing is missed. There’s a massive amount of pressure as she’s applying to universities, no one knows if it’s exams or CAGs or what. They’re being tested every lesson. It’s hideous.
They’ve now downgraded her A level predictions due to her mental health as she just hasn’t been getting great results over the last few weeks. Understandably. So she’s now having to look at different universities and courses, that she doesn’t really want to go to as was on target to do ok. It’s horrid.