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Child mental health

Sunday league u9's football drama

3 replies

uberchick2020 · 23/08/2020 16:58

Hello, any advice for this would be really helpful for me please. My 8 year old DS has been playing football for years. He loves playing but he does have temper issues. His team had a friendly away game today, the referee was completely biased towards his boys which happens a lot but fouls were happening again and again. He eventually got so wound up and threw the ball at the head of the boy who fouled him. He was then subbed off and he spent the rest of the game sulking and having a tantrum on the sidelines. He wouldn't join in with the after-game chat with his teammates and the coach, and then refused to do penalties (for fun). I've just had a WhatsApp message from his coach, who I really get on with, about him having a two match ban because of his behaviour over the last few weeks, and that if he continues he will be asked to leave the team. My son is obviously devastated and won't talk to us. Football is his life and his best friends are in his team. Has anyone got any ideas about what I could do to help him? I want to find about any support network you could point us towards maybe? Thank you.

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lljkk · 23/08/2020 17:07

He's had his punishment, don't add anything to make him feel bad.
He has to take this on the chin to remind him why he doesn't want to lose his temper again.
Sport is meant to be fun, eh?
It's only a 2 match ban and then he gets to have a fresh start. The events don't make him a bad person, but if everyone behaved like that then the whole match system falls apart. So the behaviour can't be accepted. Hence the strict conditions.

DH tried an anger management course with DS (not angry about footie, just a grump); DH reckoned DS ran circles around the coordinators and flat out didn't engage at all so the course wasn't useful. DS is a pretty even tempered teenager, actually (!!)

Only part I wondered about is... is the 2 match ban because of the during-match problems, or the sulking afterwards? It doesn't seem right to punish him for sulking afterwards. He's allowed to be unhappy as log as it doesn't ruin the match/fun for others.

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Cuddling57 · 23/08/2020 17:18

Does he lose him temper at school? At home? With friends generally?

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uberchick2020 · 23/08/2020 17:57

It's because of the match issue not the sulking. He gets upset at school if he doesn't understand the work and lies his head on the table and refuses to continue (according to the teacher). He does lose his temper at home if he doesn't get his own way or if he loses at something but he does get over it. I'd love to take him to an anger management course! I can imagine he would refuse to join in though and would probably have a tantrum Confused

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