Hey. Sorry to hear this, it sounds upsetting. My DD is 6 and has autism. She’s also been going into hand washing overdrive the last couple of weeks. I was on here looking for help with exactly that. It’s hard right now to find the time to be your child’s parent, teacher, playmate, therapist, cook and cleaner, so the list coming up is a bunch of ideas but I definitely haven’t used them all! So here are some things which might help, and it’s as much for me as for you :)

Learning a bit about microbes and good bacteria, about immunity and good dirt and how it builds from SOME amount of germ exposure.

Good mess / happy sensory. DD hates finger painting and messy hands but she makes an exception for chocolate. This could be like exposure therapy, good practice for building tolerance of dirt? Breaking up chocolate biscuits for a cheesecake base and getting crumby hands. Melting chocolate to make edible finger painting on plain biscuits or on slices of fruit.

Teaching a song to sing while hand washing and reassuring that at the end of the song, the germs are gone. This is our trouble - she’s washing for a minute or longer and is very distressed if I ask her to stop before she feels ready.

Getting to the heart of the worries by drawing the worries or writing about them, whispering them to a toy or getting toys to act them out for you.

Doing some physical recharging stuff - trampoline jumping, bashing a cushion, running laps around garden if you have one, tackling you to the ground, getting squashed tightly under pillows or in a rolled blanket.

Bonding time to help him feel safe. Let him take control and make choices. Indulge his favourite games for as long as you can tolerate to “top up” his levels.

It’s not easy and you have my sympathies. Hopefully something will help soon, but such a massive change in routine and loss of excitement and joy in life is a hard thing for small kids, especially with additional needs xx

Oh poor soul. It sounds really distressing for you both. It might be worth calling the GP to ask for advice, and also emailing the school so that they are aware and can also maybe ask their SENCO for advice. In the mean time, I would focus on making him a bit more calm and content, even if it means abandoning all schoolwork. Are you also working from home at the moment? If so, ask your employer for some discretion and understanding so you can just focus on your DS for a while. What helps him recharge? Time alone? Rough play? Paw Patrol? Lego? Whatever it is, build in plenty of that and also try asking him- if he had a magic wand, what would he change right now? Imagine you have three wishes. What will make life feel better? Some might be possible (dessert every day) and some might not (play date with friends) but you can talk them through and find compromises like video chat or making crafts to post to friends. Does he do well with routines? You could draw up a visual timetable for the week and display it on the wall for his reassurance and sense of structure. Get dressed / breakfast / exercise / play / lunch / tv time / dinner / bath / bed etc. It’s really shit and you have my sympathies. It sounds like you’re doing a really good job and are tuned into his needs and feelings. Give yourself a pat on the back and know that this isn’t your fault! This is a traumatic time for everyone, and it sucks twice as hard for kids, and then twice as hard again for autistic kids who can be very sensitive to changes and stresses. Hugs x

Don’t know how he copes with reward systems (they backfire with DD as she interprets it as a punishment when she doesn’t get a sticker, and the pressure of trying to earn one makes her double stressed - but some kids thrive on them) but you can also try offering an incentive for him getting through an hour or a portion of the day without washing hands unnecessarily. A sweet or a TV episode, a joke from a jar or a sticker on a chart. Redirect him when he feels the compulsion so that he has something else to “do” with himself when he feels the urge to wash hands. Get ‘the kids guide to staying awesome’ from Amazon. It’s got some excellent advice for physical activities to help in these moments, eg push a wall as hard as you can for 20 seconds.

It sounds as if he’s feeling unsafe in the world because of all the messages of danger around. Dissuade friends or family from talking to him about the virus etc, and try to help him see things in the world as friends. The good bacteria that turns milk into yoghurt - friends. The good bacteria in his gut that means he can eat tasty food and grow - friends. There might be a couple of nuisances out there but we’re dealing with them as best we can, and we’re surrounded by all these invisible friendly helpers too.