Hi, my son is 16 years old and has recently been diagnosed with depression. He thinks he has been for years but while in high school he was too busy most of the time to dwell on it. He went to a school further away so he was up at 5.30am, left the house by 6.30 and arrived home after 5pm. He travelled on the train with friends there & back too. So he was somewhat distracted from his feelings.
He finished high school last summer, since then his mental health has deteriorated. In September he started college which he hated as he gave up with his GCSE's due to 'not caring anymore/no motivation' so did not pass an exam he needed to study his preferred subject choice at college. Plus his friends all went to a different college so he didn't know anyone.
In October he admitted he needed help with how he was feeling, so he saw the GP twice. They refused to prescribe any antidepressants to try, due to his age. They advised me to do an online referral form which led to him getting an appointment with the Emotional Wellbeing & Mental Health Service for young people in our area, but it was 4 months away.
In the meantime he got desperate, having suicidal thoughts etc, so went to A & E children's department. There he was seen by a mental health nurse who was able to get his appointment brought forward by 3 months.
He attended this, seeing another mental health nurse who assessed him & diagnosed depression. The service provides group or one to one therapy which is usually a 6 month waiting list! However they must have been concerned as he was allocated & saw his one-to-one therapist within 2 weeks. This started last week. It's a 6 week course then review.
I'm out of my mind stressed & worried about him. He's been unable to face college since the Christmas break. Before that the college gave him a restricted timetable of 3 subjects instead of 4 to try to help after we had a meeting to discuss things.
After seeing his therapist last week & not being able to make himself go, he has dropped out of college!
Like most parents, I made the rule that he either had to be in college or have a job if he wants to live here, but now he is doing neither.
I tried the tough love approach saying he would be in the council offices saying he's homeless if he quit college before having a job etc but it didn't work. And I wouldn't actually kick him out but a threat should be enough to make him do something. I don't expect him to work full time with having depression, only part time & contributing a bit to the household. Plus working could improve his mental health.
As a consequence for not being in college or having a job, when I do think he could have tried harder to keep going, I've taken the home internet away. He has some through his phone package still, but not on the laptop or Xbox.
I don't know what else to do now. He's going to the nearby library some days on their computers applying for jobs, or so he tells me. And I do think he wants a little job & his own money but his mental health right now is making everything difficult. I don't know if he could even manage going out to work right now.
Trying to focus on the positive that he's seeing a therapist weekly, which hopefully helps & if not, maybe she can recommend trying medication to his GP who did say they will prescribe it to a 16 year old but it has to be recommended by another health professional first. His college informed me they have students aged 17 currently attending who are on anti depressants.
I understand medication won't solve his problems, but if it can take the edge off his thoughts & mood, then he can start to do a few things which along with therapy will hopefully help.
Right now he has trouble sleeping, lately staying up until 2am some nights later & not getting up until 1pm the next day, a few days it's been 5pm he finally gets up! He's very thin not much appetite. Not keeping up with personal hygiene, he will go days without a shower, washing his hair or brushing his teeth, even with me reminding him. He spends most of his time in the bedroom. Isolates himself. Very tearful some nights. Has angry outbursts, disrespectful, argumentative -mostly with me as I'm at home the most when he is.
One extended family member doesn't believe much about him having depression & just thinks he's getting away with murder. Which is very unhelpful & adds to the stigma around mental health.
Any experiences similar or advice would be greatly appreciated at this point. I was hesitant to post online but I don't know where else to turn now.