15 year old will not leave house!

[rattlesnake]

Hi. My 15 year old has been home-schooled / tutors for 4 years due to anxiety. It was all going great, liked his tutors etc. He started a one day a week college placement last year too, which he seemed fine with. Though we were doing great and then in last couple of months he has become really withdrawn, won't talk much about it to me. Says he just doesn't want to go out at the moment and doesn't feel he can cope with anything at all. It's been 6 weeks since he left the house. Trying to get him to come out just results in a meltdown. Iv'e been to Dr's on my own (he won't come) they say that it's no good referring him to CAMHS as they have a long waiting list. They suggested I find a private therapist..which I have done, but he refuses to attend. Refuses to go to any appointments (dental etc.) I am at a loss what to do. I've had favourite cousins round for dinners, offered to do stuff he used to love doing...asked if he wants to go on holiday ...answer always just leave me alone! He literally lays on his bed all day on phone / xbox. Sometimes he cries and tells me he's trying to feel better (that breaks my heart) :( Any advice would be appreciated. ps. He has friends...which he used to visit but just contacts on his phone now.

That sounds awful for you both. Is he still eating ok and taking care of his personal hygiene. He does sound depressed.
Would he talk to his cousins about how he is feeling . Would he look at any online mental health resources. ( don’t know any sorry but maybe someone else will) . Not sure if any therapists or Camhs do home visits. Does he just not want to talk about it or is he afraid to go out
Might be worth getting this moved to teenagers where there is a thread about coping with dc who have mental health issues. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/3572975-Parents-of-anxious-kids-teens-support-thread-part-2
Sorry I don’t really have any advice to offer but I hope someone else does

Hi Strictly. Yes he's still eating and showering etc. People have tried talking to him through his door. My husband is the only one who can get in...but as soon he he starts talking about him getting some help, or leaving the house..even for a short drive..it's over. CAHMS doesn't even seem to be an option right now according to doc...unless he is a danger to himself or others, we would have to wait up to a year!! Will look at the link ..thank you.

Had this with a young relative. First step (as per his mental health worker) was to remove x-box, phone and only allow Internet use in common areas (living room/kitchen) and not at night at all. Tell him it's not a punishment, but spending so much time using electronic devices is detrimental to his well-being.

Breakfastpizza. That makes very good sense. Terrifies me to think of what he would do if I tried it though..however, I'm ready to try anything. Would be fine if his Dad was here with me (he works 12 hour straight shifts and is only home after 10/11pm) Ive already ducked the TV, clock and several other hurled objects. Will certainly give it a go though!

Check his folates and vitamin d status, if in doubt and you cant get his bloods tested try giving him a supplement of 25mcg a day min with his food D3. This made a big difference to my son when he was depressed. in his case gp gave him a 20x 25mcg dose per week to kick start. Son was deficient and I didnt realise. Son now at uni happy and bouncy.

A friend with son in similar situation said setraline was a game changer and enabled her 16 yr old to leave house and attend cbt

I would really urge you to remove his Xbox and phone. Take them out of the house if you need to. Tell him that you're not prepared for him to continue avoiding life in favour of a virtual reality. It does sound as though he needs some tough love.