Ds16 is saying his brain is telling him he won’t get better(anxiety)how do I handle it?

[Noth1ngtoseehere]

He is convinced he can’t sort his severe anxiety out. Giving up before he properly starts strategies. How is the best way to handle it, what to say?

It might be worth him reading about Beck's cognitive triad. The thoughts he is having are part of the illness, so called "automatic thoughts". This is more on the depression side but it's not unusual to have a mixed picture.

How do I break him out of that cycle?

This is the nature of anxiety. The brain rushes ahead to all the what ifs and catastrophises. I find with my DD that me being completely rational and logical helps her. It’s exhausting, but the only way to help talk her down.

Yes I find that too. Had to push him away for a while because it was exhausting, he was a lot worse. Don’t want him too reliant on me iykwim.

But will keep plodding on if it helps.

It helps Mine to do something like make cookies or make a kit. Talking to Psychologist about this he said it’s a good strategy that distracts from intrusive thought because it activates the computer side of the brain and it’s calming to carry out. Plus everyone likes cookies so he gets positive feedback for making them.
He needs to find something that’s works for him

Was thinking of cooking, did the psychologist recommend anything else?

Is he on medication?
Activities definitely help (although my DD is medicated and her calming actions are watching endless animal videos! Not particularly active but far better than her previous SH).
Other ideas given were - yoga, any sport (hah!), basically anything, literally anything other than disappearing into your own head and doing the what if game.

No no medication.

CBT kind of addresses this. Automatic negative thoughts can be reprogrammed. It's about recognising them for what they are.
Have they thought about trying that?

Just ordered a CBT book for teenagers on Amazon. He keeps saying he needs something to switch the thoughts off and stop them coming. I’ve said there isn’t anything thing, he needs to learn how to manage them. I hope that’s right.

CBT uses elastic bands to snap when you have the thoughts. It hurts, so the theory is the thoughts will become less frequent.

He will benefit from a good therapist.

Sertraline changed my dd's life. Anxiety was preventing her from living properly. I was dubious about it because of her age but the difference in her is huge.

You may have already tried self hypnosis apps; they can be calming if listened to once or twice per day.

ACT is a helpful approach that uses tools to 'defuseM from intrusive thoughts rather than challenge them like in CBT.

Loads of stuff online including a pdf of The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.

www.amazon.co.uk/Anxiety-Survival-Guide-Teens-Solutions/dp/1626252432/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=anxiety+teens+book&sprefix=anxiety+b&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1575614926&sr=8-2

Just ordered the above

Where do you find the hypnosis apps?

TRE can work trauma release exercises and neurogenic tremors. Look at David Berceli YouTube channel or traumaprevention.com
Used by a lot of military men so might be acceptable to a young guy to do. Beauty of it is it works directly on your nervous system you don't need to think about stuff for it to work. And once you know how can use yourself at home for free

I suffered dreadful anxiety as a teenager (a complete nervous breakdown which lasted months). My mum got me some books by Dr Claire Weeks. I think one was called "Self help for the nerves" or something. It was really helpful in explaining anxiety and the negative thought processes.

The app that I used was just called Free Hypnosis by a guy called Joseph Clough (although you do have to pay for some of them). There are lots of different tracks for specific issues.
Also try some guided meditations with Calm app. It has been proven that daily meditation affects brain processes and enables them to work more effectively reducing anxiety.

Please reassure your son that a very large number of people can make a recovery from anxiety and he will not always feel this way but he needs to find strategies that work for him.

My 13 year old was suffering from anxiety and I got a book from amazon called outsmarting worry by Dawn Heubner. We worked through it together and it really helped.