Not eating as a form of self harm

[Themyscira]

My DD is nearly 13 and gas recently disclosed to me that she's been self harming and having suicidal thoughts.

This is a direct result of a traumatic event earlier in our lives - my ex attacked me and she was in the house, and she is struggling to process this.

Her emotional pain is overwhelming her and she doesn't have a way to fully express it, so she is hurting herself.

She recently told me she has stopped eating, so the pain of being hungry has replaced cutting/scratching herself.

I don't know much about this, but I've involved the school. She struggles to sleep and has anxiety and isn't attending school regularly.

I'm deeply concerned, of course, but trying to remain calm and centred for her, so she will continue to come to me or another trusted adult with her feelings.

I'm not forcing her to eat, but I am trying to entice her with simple things like sweet tea and toast.

I don't know what to do, and I'm worried.

[Clutterista]

I'm really sorry to hear this. Did you and your DD her any help after the attack? Have you sought any help other than school, or have they sign-posted you to other services? Wondering how she'd react to the idea of counselling or other support. My DD will come to us when very upset or will give us the basics if asked directly but won't discuss any feelings in detail - she can't tell us why and we otherwise have a pretty open relationship but the depression and self harm she just shuts down about. Sometimes it's easier to be honest with a stranger, however difficult we find that as parents.

[PurpleFrames]

The pp makes some really good points.

Have you been to the gp?

[Elieza]

Defo get professional help ASAP. I’m sure there is a forum on here for eating disorders in the meantime.

[Themyscira]

Thanks.

We are accessing professional support, yes. I am doing all I can for her, and she has been on the up these past few days, but of course this is not an easy situation to fix. I am in contact with the school and we have other professionals involved now, or at least the ball is rolling on that.

[lljkk]

She can get referred for having an atypical eating disorder.
You can only do what you can do, OP... I would try all the channels available.
Do you talk to her about how you're coping? I'm not saying you should lean on her, but by opening up to her, you may encourage her to open up to you. So that things don't fester in her mind.