Building self-esteem six year old girl.

[Taytotots]

My daughter is six, almost seven. She has always been highly strung and prone to meltdowns, particularly with routine changes. However, the rest of the time she seemed happy. Recently she has started saying 'I'm no good at anything', 'no-one likes me' and seems upset. She won't say what is wrong. I've asked if anyone is being mean to her but she says they aren't. I suspect someone is though as things like her no longer liking a dress she loved because it is now 'stupid' suggest someone has said something. I've also noticedy son picking up more peer-pressure so guess it is that age. Is there anything I can do to build her self-esteem and confidence? We already praise effort rather than just achievement and I try to model that it's fine to be bad at stuff and still enjoy it. She does have friends and is actually very capable at school and in other areas so what she is saying isn't the reality.

This book is age-appropriate.I used it with both DC who had self-esteem issues at a very young age due t unchecked bullying at primary school. It really worked.

It helps them learn to say assertive things like. Yes, I know you don't like my dress but I do. I know you think it's stupid but I don't.

With general statements like 'nobody likes me' it teaches them to make lists of people who do. Nobody likes me except mum and dad and the cat and granny and my teddy bear and my TA and ...

This can help you because if you do it with her and she's resistant to saying a teacher or close friend dislikes her then you have something specific to investigate. You then ask why they think that and then you can explain some stuff like: My teacher was cross with me today when I asked her to look at my work. And you find out that the teacher snapped because DD has been asked to get changed for PE and instead asked teacher to admire a drawing (or whatever) and can explain that teachers can sound grumpy if they are busy or interrupted or you don't do what they ask, but that doesn't mean they dislike you, just that what you did made them grumpy. Practise next time doing what you're told/not interrupting etc and seeing if the teacher seems nicer.

Sorry - really long winded but you get the picture.

growlingbear thanks so much. That book looks like it would be really helpful. Will give it a go.

@growlingbear Thanks from me as well, my 6 yr old has changed schools recently and is a fair bit behind in writing 'properly' as well as One classmate being very talented at drawing so I'm also dealing with "I'm stupid" "I won't be able to do that" and "Nobody likes me" when actually he has made friends that he's seen during the holidays and they love him.

Stinking Thinking is exactly what it is but it's heartbreaking

I have an anxious DD who is 9, but was very much like your DD at 6/7.

What are her friendships like? Sometimes they struggle to recognise mean behaviour, so avoid asking if anyone’s been unkind and try to find out if any of her friends are being “bossy”, controlling or overly competitive. If she wins an award or race etc are her friends happy for her? Can she play with anyone she likes, or is one friend controlling the friendships? Does she worry about her best friend’s opinion on things?

They do change a lot around this age, unfortunately, and even the “nice girls” can be quite unkind, possibly without even realising it.

Clubs and friends outside of school help a bit. DD is currently enjoying a break from all school friends (even the lovely ones) over the summer hols and having sleepovers etc with friends from other schools and cousins etc.

Sorry you're going through this with your dd too lilmishap. Superfurry good idea about not recognising mean behaviour. I think part of the problem may be her 'best' friend so trying to encourage new friendships to give her more options. Also encouraging interests outside school - hoping, as you say, this will help too.