DD physically unable to eat due to anxiety

[EmilyandIsabellesMum]

I am at my wits end trying to get suitable help for my almost 18yo DD. She's struggling with anxiety and possibly depression, and the most alarming symptom is that she can't eat. Sometimes she's ok, but mostly she feels nauseous as soon as she starts eating. She will either just take few bits then stop, or if she tries to force herself she feels really sick and is often actually sick 10-15 minutes later. She is genuinely not doing this on purpose, the anxiety is causing the nausea. After trying various tactics at home for a while, we went to the gp early Feb, and have been referred to CAMHS. Gp says he can't prescribe or do anything else. CAMHS saw her at an exam stress workshop, and she had a 1:1 appointment today, but now all she is being offered is a series of three "getting ready for CAMHS" workshops, one a month at the end of May, June & July. Meanwhile she is losing weight, not sleeping and suffering panic attacks. We were very concerned when we saw the gp at the beginning of Feb, I can't believe she is getting nothing useful! So far, she has been advised to eat healthily and get plenty of sleep! Well, if she was doing thise things, we wouldn't have a problem, now would we?!
She is naturally an anxious person, and has already had one period where she really struggled with anxiety and panic attacks a couple of years ago. On that occasion a series of sessions with the college counsellor helped her get back on an even keel. The college counsellor says she can't see her again as DD is now under CAMHS.
What can I do to get her some proper, timely help? Anyone been in a similar situation or knows how to cut through the red tape?

The lack of help you’re getting sounds infuriating!!! Apologies, I’m not in the UK so can’t advise on access to services.

However, my sister has struggled in the past with similar issues. She’s on anti-anxiety medication now which helps, but the nausea and vomiting persisted. The medical advice that helped her in getting that symptom under control was avoiding caffeine (as soon as she cut out her morning coffee, she went from vomiting every morning to maybe 2 days per week... progress!), and to treat the nausea like morning sickness, I.e., always have a few salty simple carbs on hand, never have a completely empty stomach, and try things like green apples, sucking on lemons...

Good luck, OP. I know how hard this is to watch. Know that things CAN get better!

Also why can’t the GP prescribe anything?! That sounds suspect to me. When I lived in the UK and had depressive symptoms (age 18!) the GP offered me anti-depressants. Might be worth a trip back there and explaining how long it’s taking to access other services. If your daughter is struggling to eat, people need to understand that she can’t wait weeks or months for help!

It's not a solution, but has she tried the Headspace app - it's structured meditation and also yoga - I love Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube. These might help to take the edge off her anxiety .

I don't understand how / why they cannot prescribe anything - and you have my sympathies but maybe other techniques might help - I'm also a big advocate of acupuncture too - to help relax and be less anxious

All of these are just symptom management but they might help while you wait for appointments x

I'm thinking it might be worth trying some things while waiting for more help but do keep trying. How about some breathing exercises and mindfulness. My dd has a good app called headspace with lots of guided meditations on it. Dd is only 14 so it is easy to use. Is there anything she really likes to eat no matter how unhealthy? Maybe some nice little cakes? Or ice cream? Chips and dips? Just to get her eating and help her appetite. Worry about healthy eating once she is eating better quantities.

Hi OP, this sounds soooo much like me at your daughters age! I got myself in such a state that I began to think that food would make me sick, so the more I thought about eating, the more I would feel sick. Sometimes I would pass out whilst waiting for the food to cook as I was so anxious about it making me sick! At first my parents thought I had an eating disorder, but like I explained to my GP, I did want to eat, I just couldn't face it. I was doing my A-levels at the time, and the weight was dropping off. My parents were very concerned.

My GP was lovely. He prescribed me with proparanol, which even after a few days really helped. Maybe this could be the solution? Even now I'm a very anxious person, and I have to return to proparanol when I can feel it getting bad, and the food association returns. I'm still a little niggly in restaurants (I'm 34 now) - the longer it takes to come, the longer I think I'm not hungry, and then I start to feel sick, and I have to give my head a wobble.

I know not everyone will agree with medication, but it certainly helped for me.

Another thing I thought of that's helpful for anxiety is a weighted blanket.

So sorry you and your dd are suffering. My dd has slightly different issues. I found this you tube video helpful. It's about anorexia but the principle of helping someone in a panic may be of use.

I also agree that medication is helpful, but you need proper support and not just a prescription.

My daughter suffers from cyclical vomiting syndrome and it's triggered by anxiety. She can't even keep water down when it's at its worst.

She takes omneprazole to help with the nausea feeling when she is having an attack and has been prescribed anti sickness medication.

I had this, too. I found I could eat weetabix, bananas and soup. And smoothies. And cake. It was also a lot easier to eat after an alcoholic drink -not that I’d recommend it in the long term but maybe an old fashioned aperitif like a glass of sherry before dinner?! I also found it easier to eat after exercise when I was absolutely ravenous.

I suffered from terrible nausea and anxiety at around that age and restricted my diet to a ridiculous degree. It was never about how I looked or how much I weighed but all about trying not to be sick.

It did improve gradually over time.

I've realised now that I am probably aspie and the food restriction was me trying to gain control over quite a chaotic period in my life (A Levels, leaving home, starting uni).

Can I suggest that, if you haven't already, you completely relax all structured eating. Let her sit with the family but she doesn't need a plate. Get her a box with salty dry foods in like crackers etc that she can nibble is she is feeling nauseous.

Also, sea bands for her wrists, tbh I think they're bollocks but she might find them helpful.

Yes mine was definitely about subconscious control at a time when I felt I didn’t really have any. It was just after I finished uni with no goal or anything to ‘do’ next.

Does she want to eat? I can’t eat when I’m really stressed either. Maybe try something like build up (not sure if that’s the name) or the diet shakes that have vitamins and minerals in them. Some taste really nice (like melted ice cream) and at least puts some nutrients into the body.

A doctor told my mum that they sometimes prescribe steroids for non eaters. Not sure if she was joking but mum used to pile on weight when she was on steroids..

Whilst waiting for better professional help;
I am seconding the advise for Yoga with Adrianne you tube videos. These really help with anxiety and something positive you can do together. They really are amazing for mental health. Exercise is a good drug!
I have to eat certain foods whilst watching tv. I have to take my mind off the food. Also in diff rooms or out of the house. With people there or not! Whilst doing homework or soduko! Anything to take her mind off of eating (but whilst eating!).
Let her cook herself when she wants to and let her eat anything she wants! I'm so sorry she is going through this.