Does this sound like depression in my year 10 almost 15 year old ds?

[LimitIsUp]

Text from him an hour ago:
"I can't be arsed
Honestly like fuck everything
School is just shite"

I replied: "Sweetheart cheer up - you're worrying me. Has something gone wrong?
Don't stress about exams" [he has year 10 exams next week]

He replies: "I'm not stressed just done"

I reply "Why? What is the problem?"

He responds "I don't know. Everything I guess"

Background - I have been a bit worried about him for a while. He seems to be mostly morose and fed up.

There are mental health issues on his father's side of the family (my SIL is depressed and anxious and has attempted suicide and paternal grandfather committed suicide). My dd has anxiety

.

Will keep bumping periodically for Active conversations

Has he texted you stuff like this before?
How long has he been feeling like this?
How is he doing with day to day stuff, E. G. homework, showering, etc?
What does he do for fun? How does he socialise?
How is his sleep?
How is his appetite?

Thanks for reply SexNotJenga
Not texted me stuff like this before but has said similar
He is showering and going to school and appetite is normal
All he does for fun is Netflix, youtube and gaming. He doesn't see friends (his choice, he is an introvert and although popular chooses not to see friends out of school). He plays football and enjoys it but sometimes tries to get out of training

He just seems despondent

He has been like this on and off for a few months but lately its been more on than off

OK. So it sounds like he is coping with life at the moment. But maybe he'd like to feel different. It's really good that he's telling you this stuff, btw.

Try to pick a good moment (uninterrupted by other family members, not in public obvs) and talk with him about it. Sounds like he's feeling a bit low, could maybe benefit from a bit of support.

He may be able to access support in school. This varies a lot, but is worth checking out. Otherwise take him to the GP (most camhs services require a GP referral).

If, after talking with the GP, he gets a referral, there may be a waiting list. In the mean time, there are things he can do to help stop his mood from getting worse. Exercise (don't let him wriggle out of training). Seeing friends (even introverts benefit from a couple of hours with people they like).

Re: YouTube/gaming. Does he get a sense of achievement/enjoyment out of these or are they just killing time?

What time does he put the screens away? It needs to be at least one hour before he goes to sleep because the light they produce will keep him awake. Poor quality sleep is very unhelpful for low mood and anxiety too.

Hope this helps. See what he says, anyway.

Could I recommend you a book: "how to talk so teens will listen". If it's like the other books in the series (for younger kids) you should be able to dip into the chapters relevant to just this situation.

It sounds like he wants to talk to you, which is great. But some of your replies are trying to guess what is going on with him, rather than just listening to what he is trying to tell you. Don't bring up exams or depression or friends or sport if he doesn't. Just listen to what he is actually saying. Anyway the book I recommended would give you ideas of how to do that.

Firstly it’s hreat that’s he’s speaking to you, it means he trusts you and wants to share so well done on clearly having a strong relationship with him.
Please try not to let him know you’re scared or worried, or else he might not share with you in the future.
Just be there, listen, be supportive, it’s so hard for teens right now.
Is there anything you can do to inspire him and remind him it’s a huge wonderful world out there? I took my son on a trip he really wanted a bought him a flying experience (you can get them cheap on groupon) - it’s helped remind him he’s nearly out of school and can soon choose to do what he wishes with his life.
(I also made a photo collage with him of fun memories to remind him of good times)

Thank you for the helpful advice and for the book recommendation.

I realised when I told him that he was worrying me that I had made a tactical error - won't do that again, as I want to encourage him to lean on me not clam up.

Picked him up from school today rather than let him take the bus. This is a 'treat' in that the bus is a circuitous route and he doesn't get home until 4.45/4.50 pm normally but with a lift from me he was home by 4.20. We had a good chat on the journey home. Apparently he had been in tears in the boys loos this morning just prior to the text. Reading between the lines he's down and not enjoying life because he is feeling under pressure to get stellar results in the Y10 exams - this pressure is not coming from me or his dad, but is self imposed "I don't like to fail" he said. I've tried to help him put the Y10 exams into perspective - that they are a trial run, that he isn't expected to ace them, its just practice and definitely not the be all and end all.

He won't let me tell school that he is anxious and he doesn't want to see the GP yet. He said he would finish his exams and see if his mood lifts, and only if it doesn't will he see the GP

I will keep checking him with him daily for a chat since it seems to help him collect his thoughts.

Am planning a couple of days in London doing fun stuff over the Easter holidays which should help

Thanks SexNotJenga, Zigzagzig and LuluBellaBlue - I have found your comments very helpful

Check Vitamin D deficiency...quite common to be deficient at this time of year, lack of sunshine over winter spring months...can cause anxiety low mood lethargy. Most pharmacies stock supplements, at least 500iu a day is recommended by the government, my son takes 1000iu a day (25mcg tablet) he was deficient in year 12 and probably for a few years before that...you can google government advice on the "sunshine vitamin".
ds1 presented as low mood, anxiety, lethargy, sullen tired, not coping with school. He perked up enormously when he was no longer deficient insufficient, no-one suggested it to me, I only found out through Mumsnet by chance, and when he was given a blood test. Folate and B6 deficiency can also be a problem at that age..

Thanks Nettleskeins - I will certainly try that. Low mood, anxiety, lethargy, tired and not coping with school pretty much sums up ds atm. I might arrange a routine GP appointment for a blood test but in the mean time will get some vitamin D supplements in any case