My 14 Yr old dd school is not helping at all!!

[biglips]

Last June is when I found out my dd was self harming. I contacted her school (plus doctors) and spoke to the support teacher (whatever he was) to mention about it and he said he will get the counsellor to see my dd.... That never happened so I thought maybe it's nearly the end of the term....
Dd went back in Sept and October I spoken to the same support teacher, he said yes the counsellor has left before the term ended and there is a new one in...... Still nothing. My dd is getting worse and docs had referred her to cahms (she tried a normal counsellor but she didn't want to do it anymore). Docs said her school need to be involved....i already went to her school a week ago tmrw but still nothing!!
Dd had her parent evening tonight and sounds like she is slipping abit and need to push herself. She is in the top set for everything but is struggling.

What next? As I'm concerned about my dd as she usually doesn't have any probs apart from the usual chat in class since she was in juniors.

Tmrw, I'm gonna go down and speak to her support manager of her year to see if they can start pushing things along.

Sounds like you have to be prepared to be very assertive here. Mental health services are a shambles. I was 15 when I was first diagnosed with depression and nearly 20 years on i still don't have a regular treatment plan. Self harm is a coping mechanism. It is frightening for you obviously and of course it isn't a good coping mechanism but we all have them and the reason behind her need to self harm is what is important. If I were in your position I would have an open conversation with her. Make sure she knows that you will not be angry with her so that if she takes things too far or gets an infection she won't hide it from you but come to you for help. Equally let her know that you are devastated that she feels like she has to do this and you don't want her to but tell her you understand that her feelings are overwhelming and that she can share them with you at anytime day or night no matter how big or ugly or awful the feelings are.

Thanks mum. Yes we've had a few long conversations about the self harming and how's she is feeling etc since June. Yes I'm gonna have to put my foot down tmrw. As I need to school to be on her side as well as us.

As I've been waiting for a phone call since last Friday and I'm still waiting.

I'm confused as to why the GP thinks school can help more than a medical professional. Schools are for teaching & learning.

Go into the school sit yourself in the office/reception etc and tell them you'll wait until it's sorted out. Take a book and settle in. My dd has a learning disability and when she was four she wasn't offered a nursery place with a classroom assistant I put her in her pram and went to the education board offices. I told the receptionist I was there to sort out dds school place and that we were happy to wait. We got sorted out relatively quickly. Just be polite but firm, this has gone on too long, you need to know what the school is prepared to do, even if it's nothing you need to know that too so that you can make her doctor aware. Could you approach your LA to find out their policies on supporting children with mental health issues.

Well I went in and got an appointment for Monday morning.

In my dd's school, there are 2 school counsellors on site and whilst my dd is waiting to start counselling with cahms which is a 5 months wait... Or unless we pay but don't know the costs yet (we've paid before with a different counsellor outside school but it didn't work) ... She can have counselling at school, and see what they can do to help her. At first she felt and thought she was the only person in the whole school (there's 1220 kids in her school) that was having problems, which she felt relieved at the time...