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Child mental health

11 year old with unwanted thoughts

1 reply

revelsandrose · 15/11/2018 18:55

Can anyone offer advice? Ds 11 has always struggled with making friends. We had hoped secondary school would be a new start but he is still drawn to the same people from primary who often exclude him and he finds it difficult to fit in.
Today he showed me his phone and he had searched for 'how to tell the difference between sadness and depression. He said he thinks he has the symptoms of depression.
I tried to explain the difference between feeling upset and annoyed that people at school have been mean to him and being depressed, he got upset and started to cry, saying that when he goes to bed at night he thinks about horrible things e.g. his family dying or being hurt. He said he thinks he was a mistake and shouldn't have been born and that he imagines his light fitting in his room is a rope he could use to kill himself.
He had a mentor at primary that he talked to to help with his emotions and social interactions but has nothing at secondary.
There is a history of mental illness on my side of the family.
Should I take him to the gp or mention it to the school or is this a pre-pubescent phase?
I suffer with depression and recall feeling quite unhappy around his age but my parents were never around to talk to or notice how I felt.
I don't know if this is 'normal' emotions or not.
He has asked to sleep in bed with me tonight, of course I will let him.
So worried that he will harm himself over a stupid comment made by another child.

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EstoLargo · 15/11/2018 21:05

Hi, didn’t want to read and run... my DD suffered from intrusive thoughts after a tough start to secondary and ended up in hospital - not to alarm you but I would try and flag it up with the powers that be now, in case it escalates and you need support later. Would he be okay to speak to your GP? They might be able to refer him to a local support group or CAHMS if they think he needs it (although tbh CAAhMS only seem to act once things are critical). Or his school might have some support or know of some local resources?

I would also (and I know this is hard) try to keep him off the internet looking up stuff like that! My DD would do all these psych tests that convinced her she was bad, mad and everything inbetween. Plus if they’re online talking to other kids who identify’ as depressed, it sort of sucks them into that world and that’s how they see themselves ifykwim? Sorry you are going through this, it’s great that he’s opened up to you and hopefully that will be all the support he needs.

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