Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you need professional help, please contact your GP or local mental health support services.
Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you need professional help, please contact your GP or local mental health support services.
Child mental health
Abandoned boy by a mother
Athena84 · 28/09/2018 12:32
Hi, all
I am here for the first time due to that I lead very intense life. What is deeply bothering me is a situation of my child's good friend from the school. A few months ago his mother told him that they both gonna move somewhere. The little was delighted of his new life. However, his biological father refused him going away. Finally, his mum moved away with no words to him about this. After a few months, I know that a stranger woman is looking after him. His father is too busy to be with him but this is impossible that he will give up the custody for his child. The boy usually stays in the lady house allocating himself in a corner because he doesn't want to be a problem to anyone.. The mother is not responding to anyone. She does not care for him anymore. This is bothering me much as he looks so sad and lost... What can I do in this situation.. I am considering reporting this situation to school or social services. Can they do anything?
bobstersmum · 28/09/2018 12:36
How do you know where he has gone and that he keeps himself in a corner?
Athena84 · 28/09/2018 12:41
Actually, I know the mother of the boy, and this lady whose takes care of him is his mother friend. I spoke with her and she told me so. She also told me that the boy does not speak with mum at all.
stellabird · 28/09/2018 12:42
So his father has custody, and has employed a child minder to look after him . I'm not sure how you know about all the details - has he told your son ? I'd guess that the school would know about his living arrangements - and they wouldn't be able to talk to you about him anyway, they have to abide by confidentiality laws.
I don't know what Social Services could do if he is being cared for - he might be telling your son some sad stories but if he is living with his father / a carer I don't think Social Services would get involved.
Athena84 · 28/09/2018 12:47
Thank you for your replays. For me, this is heartbreaking that the boy's mum just left him behind. In my opinion, this is an extremely wrong decision she made. Can the child get at least any counselling from the school? Just any way to help his...
Notacluewhatthisis · 28/09/2018 12:53
Right so the person providing childcare should be at least attempting to deal with the sitting in a corner.
If it's really as bad as you say, then speak to the school.
My dps mum left when he was 18 months and hasn't seen him or his older sisters since. His dad quickly remarried and his step mum has lots of mental health issues. His dad then started working away. Dp has had a very troubled life. Especially his teenage years up until his mid thirties. From what i understand, this got worse when his dad died. Over the last year he has been getting counselling and it's helped him So much.
It breaks my heart when he talks about stuff he has been through or how he used to feel about things. It's massively damaged his self esteem. He is a great guy. He really is. But I can see the damage it has done.
I really feel that if he had have got help sooner and had a better childhood after his mother left, he would have been very different.
Athena84 · 28/09/2018 12:59
Notacluewhatthisis - thank you for your response. Yes, I think I will do so. I will speak to the school.
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