How to help14yo DS -struggling with anxiety over going into Yr10, realisation of workload etc

[OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny]

DS has just gone into Year 10 so the start of the GCSE syllabus, options subjects etc.

He's a bright boy but really dislikes academic schoolwork. He's always produced the absolute minimum written work and homework and this was what all his teachers have said at parents evenings.

This morning he dissolved in tears saying he was feeling anxious, had a thumping headache, ached all over etc. The gist of it was feeling overwhelmed by school.

I talked to him calmly and he went off to school OK but not before I caught him doing some last minute homework (so this could have been what the anxiety was about, not having done it over the weekend despite being asked endless times if he had any homework to do).

He's a real worrier - he's already worried about one of his options subjects being too difficult for him (because some, but not all, children in the class are at a much higher level of understanding) and worried another one involves too much written work.

Can anyone recommend any self-help techniques he can use when feeling anxious please?

I will talk to him about the school workload side of things and try and get some more info from him but I really do think he needs some coping mechanisms before things spiral downhill (which I've seen happen to so many other young people over the recent years.

Have you seen any of the breathing apps on phones? They will give a focus and something to steady his breathing whilst he is panicking.

Talk with his form tutor (or whatever the school have as a designated pastoral care for him). They will have systems in place for helping with anxiety too as I can guarantee he is not the only one.

Thank you. I'd thought about talking to the teacher of the subject he's most worried about but had forgotten about the house leader who is the first point of contact for pastoral care.

I'm going to have a chat with him this evening and try and get him open up a bit more.

I also have a 14 yr old who struggles with anxiety, although for him it is less about school and more about needing to know exactly what and when and how things will be happening! Are you able to check what workload he has online? Our school has a system for this and so it is possible to monitor how things are going. The workload can be overwhelming and it sounds as if your DS could do with some support with planning and prioritising his homework. Just talking it through and maybe making a visual plan or timetable may be enough to help ease the worry. Sometimes leaving things until the last minute is a symptom of the anxiety rather than the cause if that makes sense, as in he's panicking about how much needs doing and not doing anything properly.
Physical activity really helps with anxiety too, and gives a focus outside of school work, if there's something he's interested in.