DD’s anxiety really affecting me

[YettaTessieMarmelstein]

My 11 yo DD has become very anxious. She worries, overthinks and feels guilty about everything. Even an odd thought, observation or question in her mind can develop into extreme guilt.
The way she copes with it is to tell me everything. This really helps ease her load. We started without 15 minutes every night and now we just need a few minutes each evening to talk things over.
But, her feelings of anxiety often involve me. It regularly pops in her head that i’m Ugly, i’m Fat (I am!), she doesn’t like me, she doesn’t love me, she wishes I wasn’t her mum, that she prefers her dad, she thinks i’m Poor, she thinks I have no friends, she thinks i’m Boring, I embarrass her etc etc. She feels so bad because she says these things aren’t true abd that she doesn’t think them. Then she worries she has hurt my feelings which adds to her guilt.
I reassure her that I know she isn’t being unkind or hurtful, and that everything is fine.
But I am really struggling with it. The ugly, fat, poor stuff doesn’t bother me remotely. But I had PND and I am terrified that maybe, deep down, she doesn’t love or like me and that she has picked up on my feelings when she was small. I really struggled to bond initially but overcame it.
I suppose i’m Hoping someone here can reassure me or explain this to me.

[seventhgonickname]

She loves you and trusts you or she wouldn't talk to you.I wish my DD could talk to me but she is silent.
Keep listening and keep communication open,you sound like a great mum and deep down she knows it.Its hard to stay strong but it's you she's confiding in despite all your supposed faults and she knows that you love her and are there for her.

[Verbena87]

Have you tried keeping a journal to offload? It sounds like you’re doing lots of listening and will need a safe space to do your own offloading - a counsellor would be great but often just writing your own feelings out can help.