Desperate for guidance

[Minime85]

Hi, I really don’t know what to do for the best about my 10, nearly 11 yr old daughter who is currently having a very difficult time with health related anxiety.

She repeatedly asks the same questions about her health. These questions stay the same for a week or so and then become about another health issue.

It took a dramatic turn about 7 weeks ago where for 5 weeks she was fixated about a spot on her leg. In the end I took her to the doctors with concerns about her mental health and being unable to let these worries go.

She isn’t bad enough to be referred to CAMHS. I have tried a self help book. We do headspace mindfulness every day.

But she can’t let these ideas go. She is currently hysterical as I won’t answer her again about the same question I have already answered. I am trying to go down the route of not feeding the anxiety by repeatedly answering the questions.

I just don’t know what to do. She is in tears nearly making herself sick. Am I doing the right thing In ‘being cruel to be kind’ or should I just keep answering her.

I know I need to build her self resilience and I just don’t know if I’m doing the best thing or not.

I have had the health anxiety with my daughter, she is now 14 but it became an issue from about the age of 12. I know how draining it is to do the constant reassurance but I personally think it is a mistake not to answer them when they ask,I know my daughter would think of the worst scenario for every small ailment.
Do you know if it was triggered by anything?
My daughter was diagnosed with ptsd after witnessing a threatened suicide at the age of 10, then a school friends mother died, so suspect this has made my daughter stress with health worries.

Thanks for your reply. And yes it is very stressful. We have tried the answering her questions but worrying it is just feeding her anxiety. But I know what you mean, I just feel torn between what to do for the best.

Today we are bringing in a worry time. She has already asked to move it to earlier in the day 😥

I think it started when a young girl near us was very ill and it was in the media. The young girl has very sadly died. She has since ramped up all her health anxieties.

What did the GP say? I think if it's is causing you both significant stress then maybe it is worth getting a referral to CAMHS. They will provide coping techniques and also dive into what is causing the anxieties etc.

GP said we were doing he right things. Not bad enough for CAMHS as they are hugely underfunded and in desperate need. I called a helpline today and will get a 50 minute consultation with a mental health professional in the next 7 days.

It has escalted this evening as she has talking about thinking of self harm. She is beside herself.

I just feel helpless.

Does she have anything to distract her self? Distraction is a good way to pass some time when going through a high anxiety state. There is some mindful apps on the iPhone/android you could download to help with things and you could do it together.

I'm sure you're doing great with her I think OP and I hope this time passes for her, she must be going through a terrible time as it's very real for her.

Imjustmealways thank you for your replies. Yes we are doing mindfulness together at bedtime. She settled better than I thought last night and seems breezy enough this morning.

She was very scared last night. Bless her. Hoping for a referral today but know it won’t be a quick fix.

If she is now talking about self harm, things are getting worse. Please go back to your GP and press for a CAMHS referral - I say that as a CAMHS practitioner. Hope things improve for her soon. CBT - cognitive behaviour therapy - is what will help her most.

How can someone on a forum recommend what will help a child most when they have not assessed, seen the medical history, discussed the situation in full, etc., with the family?

The biggest problem with CAMHS is that there are too few properly qualified doctors in the service and they are reliant on nurses and social workers sharing accurate information with the multi-disciplinary team.

Try telling her the dangers of self harm and see if her health anxiety will work in a different way and stop her from harmin