Overwhelming guilt.

[TheKnackeredChef]

I found out yesterday that DD(15) has been self harming. We were baking together and I told her to roll up her sleeves. There was this look of panic which flashed across her face and I just knew. It dawned on me that I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her arms.

She's been depressed for a while and told me a few weeks ago she'd thought about ending her life. She's actually got her first appointment with CAMHS this afternoon. I think I managed to handle the situation quite well - didn't overreact or anything and talked to her about it calmly, reassured her etc.

But now I just can't stop crying. How the hell could I possibly have missed this? How is it that my baby is so sad that she feels she has to cut herself? How do I find a way to cope with all this guilt? She's going to be up in a minute and I need to pull myself together and be strong for her, but at the minute I feel like I'm being crushed.

I'm sorry to read about your DD. How did the appointment go?it's good that she's talking to you and well done for staying calm. I was also in complete ignorance and totally shocked when I learnt about DD self haring. I still find it really hard to look at her scars or fresh wounds. It does make me think I've failed. But DD has had months of intensive therapy and meds and still self harming is her best coping mechanism. It's made me realise I'm out of my depth as a parent, I can't make it all better or stop her. But I can be there for her and keep talking. It's hard but at 15, there so much more going on.

I don't have any words of advice as such but we are going through self harm too... my daughter is 12, it's breaking my heart that this even came to her mind as an option let alone to go through with it. X

Hi,

I’m not a parent, i’m also a 15 year old girl and i was put through CAMHS after my mum found self harm marks on my arm in Jan 2015. I just want you to know that it gets better - I’ve been clean for two years and am now in the process of being discharged.

My relationship with my mum has been difficult at times because of the stress and guilt she and I both felt due to my mental health and self harm issues, but I see now she did the right thing by taking me to CAMHS & doing her best to be calm, understanding and easy to talk to, and I know you are too.

I sincerely hope your daughter’s appointment went well and that she’s taking her first steps on the road to recovery, and I hope that you are okay too - you’re doing great x