Anxiety in 9 yr old DS, where to get help?

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My 9 year old has developed an anxiety about busy places, people who look different amongst other things. It has developed over 9months, and we’re unsure what triggered it. We have always been an active family, constantly experiencing new places, new people etc, and it is really out of character for him. We initially didn’t take much notice and thought it would pass, but over time it has got much worse, I have tried the self hope approach and the good thing he is really open with me about his worries.
However it has now taken such a strong hold, that it’s getting in the way of enjoying life. This Easter holiday, going to the zoo, and going on holiday have been terrifying for him and it’s so sad to see this happen to my little boy and not be able to help him. Even going to our local co op terrifies him!

I have no experience with anything like this, but I really feel we need some professional help now, so we and he, can find ways to deal with it. I’m aware that NHS waiting times are so long, and although it’s not ideal I’m considering going privately. My question is, what type of professional should I try and take him to?? A pyscoherapist? A Cognative Therapy behavioralist?

I’d be so grateful for any advise.

Thanks!!!

My dd is 11 and has anxiety, when she was about 9 it was at its peak. Hers was more generalised but had a lot to do with School. She also didn't like crowded places or noise.
We were referred to CAMHS who were useless. In the end we moved her School which made a massive difference ( obviously that's not going to help you) and managed the anxiety. Warnings in advance of plans, being able to move away/ out of the situation if it gets too much. It has got better although changes in plans really stress her out. We also used the book What to do when you worry too much which has child focused explanations of anxiety and tasks for them to do. It was useful for starting a conversation on what was stressing her out.

Gosh I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time with it. Thank you for the advise, I'm going to look that book up now,

art therapy? Our DD loves it and it's made a real difference to her anxiety. Good luck, I know how awful it is to feel powerless in this situation but you can help.

Although it's not cheap £50-£65/session.

Talk to the school - probably the SENCO is best. My girl is about to start music therapy through the school and has already been doing yoga. She gets very stressed out by crowded, noisy places. We let her use an mp3 player and she listens to her music. Also finding a 'quiet' place to chill out. Ours in usually a library. We were visiting a town for a holiday - she got overwhelmed but I spotted a sign for the local library so we went there and she eventually calmed down and started to relax. It is very hard. We have been turned down by CAMHS twice now for help. Good luck.

Thanks for you advise, and interesting to hear your experiences too. I didn't know whether we should keep it separate from school as he's very happy and at ease there, so I didn't want to rock the boat! But I will have a word with them and see what they advise, thank you,
CAMHS, I'm guessing that is mental health? Sorry for my ignorance

Another recommendation for the "What to do when you worry too much" book. We have an anxious 8 year old and the book helped a lot, not least because she realised that there must be a lot of kids just like her out there for someone to write a book about it!

Working through the book also helped us identify things that were really worrying her that we didn't realise.

We also signed her up to Relax Kids classes, where she learnt breathing techniques etc.

GP apologised and said there was simply no money for mental health services for kids unless they are suicidal.

Wow that is so shocking to hear what the GP said....... the book sounds great, thank you

CAMHS child and adolescent mental health service - but as others say unless you have a child in real crisis, no good, and tbh good luck even if you do have a child in crisis.
Our experience with school was we weren't high enough need. We certainly were but I suspect, but can never prove, they assumed we could pay for therapy elsewhere and we sort of can (no choice) and I sort of see their view, there are families who can't/won't meet their child's needs so they are a priority. The main thing is the time we wasted while school um-ed and ah-ed. I wish they'd just told us straight at the beginning.
DD has done some amazing things in therapy and always comes out happier than when she went in. Plus she is now mature and thoughtful for her age.

Thank you, that's interesting to hear. Can I ask what therapy she had? I'm just not sure kind of Therapy he would need if we go down that route....

Also try Lawrence Cohen ‘The Opposite of worry’. Really good book.
What the GP said is true. That’s the way it is. Private therapy if you can, but self/ family help might be enough.

She has art therapy.

It seems good for kids as straight 'talking' therapy seems to make them anxious about saying the right/wrong thing or 'not knowing the answer' if asked a question. Art therapy (and I guess music therapy and others, I'm no expert so can only share our experience) gives them something to focus on while they talk or a way to express themselves without talking/answering questions. And of course the therapists are specially trained - you'd need someone who works with children and anxiety. I don't think you'd struggle, sadly, it seems to be an increasingly common issue.

Ok thank you, I've just added that book to my basket too! Hopefully we can try help through the books first and I'll research some art therapy locally, thank you for the advise. Far more helpful than going to the GP by the sounds of things....

Take them to the GP and get a referral. But do also get eye tests and hearing tests (I read a story of a woman who had eyesight issues which caused all kind of issues before they were diagnosed).
It might not be a mental health issue, but something physical - GP is the only way to rule that out.

Just because some people on MN have unhelpful GPS doesn't necessarily mean you GP will be like that (and if they are maybe you should think of changing practice). CAHMS can be good (its a postcode lottery). And at your DCs age they could also be referred to a paediatrician, who are also often very good.

Agree GP is good starting place, you may get lucky and in any case the GP needs to know what's going on - and they'll know how good/bad camhs list looks for you.
Good luck.

Look into play therapy as well. If you can talk to school, they might be able to signpost this for you.

Do speak to the school they may be able to do some talking/ play therapy with your child.

As a child & adolescent psychotherapist myself, I always point parents to the British Association of Counselling Psychotherapy ( BACP) website & look for the “It’s Good to Talk” & “Find a Therapist” dropdowns. Look for a therapist that is specifically qualified to deal with children, not just a therapist who is doing kids work alongside adults as it a very different skill set. I would also recommend picking a therapist that has the BACP accreditation.

Therapy is not regulated in UK yet so it is vital that the therapist has accreditation of BPC, BACP or UKCP. This will ensure a therapist with rigorous training, ongoing supervision, assessments, ethics code, complaints procedure & most importantly having had their own therapy.

CAMHS is oversubscribed, underfunded( just 6% of NHS budget: mental health, 6% of that budget on kids) and the threshold to be seen is high.

If your school has Place2Be then a teacher can refer but this is also restricted as it depends how much of their Pupil Premium they have to spend on therapy. Happy to answer quick queries

Vikander88 that is so helpful thank you. I'll look up the website now, thank you!

Hi,
Hope things are getting better for your son. As a teacher I’ve found a couple of resources really useful As he is nine these stories would be ideal for him. I have used them with my Year 5 classes and ALL pupils loved them. Mission 2 is about appreciating your uniqueness and Mission 4 is about perception.
Hope they help and let him open up.

www.cuppajourney.com/shop/cuppa-journey-series/cuppa-journey-full-series/