Teenage ds visiting the toilet throughout mealtimes - should I be concerned

[missmapp]

Ds1, 13, has anxiety and is being assessed for asd. He has a few rituals, one of which is going to the loo before he eats. Recently however he is going during the meal aswell, up to several times,per meal.

He is very skinny and doesn't eat much anyway. Could this be linked to an eating disorder?

Any advice on the best way to deal with it. He can explode when asked about things so don't want to make a big deal of it but should i ? Any advice gratefully recieved.

Didn't want to read and run. I haven't been there with a child, so I'm not sure how much advice I can give on that side, but I do have ASD and I have struggled with an eating disorder in the past. It could potentially be linked to an eating disorder, but it could also be a continuation of the rituals he already has.

I think you're right not to make a big deal of it, because that will most likely make him feel uncomfortable and less likely to open up. Maybe at a relaxed time (i.e. not at meal times/right before) you could ask him more generally how he's feeling - with the anxiety and the ASD assessment he's got a fair bit going on anyway. Then maybe gently ask him if food is something he worries about (while reassuring him that it's normal if he does)?

I don't know how your son is with communicating about things he feels anxious about, but I remember finding it almost impossible to talk about some things when I was his age and if someone asked about it I would get angry and have a meltdown because I couldn't put how I was feeling into words. One thing that used to work with me and my mum was writing notes/emails to each other about difficult things, because it gave me the time and space to think process what I wanted to say and didn't have the same pressure as talking about it face to face. Might that be something you could try?

Thank you. The notes are a good idea. He finds it so hard to talk about how he feels, it generally leads to a meltdown. Sometimes we can talk at random moments, today for example he chatted about his worries about his option choices coming up, but then I always ask one question too many and he gets angry !

It is good to hear from you about how he may be feeling , thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Think I will try to use post its or something similar to keep it low key. I must also stop myself pushing him too hard for a response .
Thanks again