Self harm

[Steven73]

Hi does anyone have any experiences of a classmate cutting themselves in front of the rest of the class?. A girl in my daughter's class has done this a couple of times now and the teacher sent the child out the class with another child to support her (totally wrong). Really think the cutter should have been sent home as if sick, wondering about other schools policys and procedures on this subject. Angry that the seed of self harm is being planted into the heads of other children, and now this girl is being gossiped about. Really think the school is out of their depth and don't know what to do, im going to ask the school what their policys are but realise these things don't happen quickly, I want this child out.

"I want this child out" Really? I had some sympathy with you up till that point. This forum is used by people who are struggling to support their children - I don't think you'll hear what you want to hear on this.

Totally understand how that must come across, but my strong feelings on this are due to the fact that my now 22 yr old daughter was a self harmer. I can't go through it all again with my second child and will do anything to protect her from being exposed to it. In my older childs school it spread like wildfire, all the girls were doing it and im petrified of history repeating itself

This child is on another level, in my own experience harmers are ashamex embarrassed and will hide all scars. This girl is cutting in front of the whole class, and then standing up and showing everyone, so frightening for the rest of the class to see. Now they are all hiding equipment to stop her doing it, even though she's mean to them all, her mental health issues are now affecting every child in the class

Help, how do I deal with this?

Im trying to support my child by not wanting her to be exposed so openly to cutting, as is every other parent in the class. Im now on the opposite side of the coin, having had a cutter child, and now trying to protect my non cutter child

You have said you are already planning to speak to the school.

Perhaps you could have an open and honest discussion with your child ?
As tempting as it is you can't hide the realities of mental health from her .
She / he needs to know there is someone who is willing to listen without judgement and let her questions ect what is all around us all .
Those affected need support more than anything and not removing from society / school that is not acceptable imo .
Your reaction could be panic due to your other child's previous history so perhaps you yourself need to talk to someone ?
Sorry if I sound condescending I'm just trying to understand your reaction and give a bit of support .

I know you have to anonymise but words matter don’t call an adolescent a cutter
It’s a instinctive reaction to want the issue resolved,and protect your own child.your immediate reaction and response is to protect your child
I’d suggest don’t openly articulate it as I want the child gone
The school has a responsibility to support the other child,and they’ll have policies
School will liaise with parents, if required CAMHS and convene a meeting and obviously for confidentiality can’t disclose to other parents what going on
In parallel school has a responsibility to other pupils and how to support them
My advice is discuss mental health in an age appropriate way, acknowledge what has gone on. Be open,honest,ask your daughter how she felt
Acknowledge to your daughter it’s ok to be scared,angry,confused
Acknowledge we are all different and experience different emotion & stress and it can manifest as self harm

You’ve said your other daughter was self harming , and I get how hard that is as a parent to deal with. And this event may trigger all those feelings again

Research suggests About 1 in 10 teen girls will self harm at some point. It tends to decline with chronological age
The majority it’ll be impulsive and reactive eg something triggered it
A minority will progress on to a pattern that endures in adulthood