Hi,
This is long I applogise please bare with me.
My son has just turned 14 although he's struggled his whole life with things 'normal' for want of a better word people do without even thinking about it. i.e.; dressing/clothes, hygiene, socialising, school.. too many to mention. But it's safe to say our lives are very hard every single day and always have been.

Iv recently had a referral made to cahms from my gp as a very last resort after the school told me they are convinced he's suffering with Asperger syndrome, something I'd never heard of but did some homework and it was like a stranger had wrote an essay on my son, broke my heart that he could have been suffering for so long with no support as no one knew, despite the struggles we've had No one has ever suggested this before.

Anyway we had a meeting at the school and they said they would now support him when he struggles and lay off him a bit.

Fast forward to this week, first day back at school we drop them off. 3 hours layer I get a txt from my son saying he's cold and can he come home. He didn't go into school and was wandering around on his own in the cold.
He said he's given up on that school, he's given up on life and doesn't see the point anymore.

I rang the school, explained what had happened, explained how low his mood was so they were aware as his mood changes so often it's unbelievable.

I got him through the doors the next day with word from the teacher she would sort something out to get him through the day and that everything would be fine don't worry.

Yesterday, he had a group of girls calling him names I won't even say on here cos they're vile.. for 2 classes and through lunch they were on his case. He then got asked by a teacher in the 3rd class to sit by the said girls to which my son refused and went and stood in the corner of the room (sounds odd I know but iv told him to remove himself from situations before they esculate)

The teacher then went on to call him pathetic and the girls also threw a few more jabs his way, he was sent out of class and then punched a wall which had resulted in a broken hand,. This is the 2nd broken hand in 6 months in school.

Another teacher came out and said she heard the teacher and that it makes her feel uncomfortable when she hears him through the wall and took my son to first aid crying.

I don't know what to do.. I'm literally in tears writing this. I feel I should take him out of school for his own safety(he's never hurt anyone else physically) but bullies his younger brother everyday.
But my partner disagrees about taking him out.

The two girls also pulled my year 7 son after my own her son was sent hom and said the same vile things things to him about his brother too, so he's off today Too as I didn't have it in me to send him in and go through it all again today.

The first time he broke his hand a teacher verbally goaded him into losing his rag and iv been told he's no longer teaching at the school but again yesterday another teacher had handled it appallingly and they haven't even had the decency to ring me other than to say to come and collect him.

He's miserable, depressed has crippling anxiety and barely leaves the house or his room. He hates life, can't sleep, so can't get up in the morning and it's just an awful cycle we're all stuck in.

What do I do: Iv been told it will be a year or more for a referral because of his age. But even with a diagnosis that won't help much surely because I need someone to understand him not just try and cure him.

I don't know. I'm stuck. We're stuck. And we've got zero support and iv got my son with his hand in a cast again who can't even drag himself out of bed today. TBH I feel exactly the same.
I can't bare seeing him so miserable anymore and me making it worse sending him into an awful situation everyday (school) where he's so uncomfortable he will get himself sent out of class just so he can sit alone in inclusion because to him that's better than being in a class full of people with triggers everywhere that he can't control.
Most of This probably make no sense so I apologise. I'm literally at my wits end.

Any advice welcome and sorry for the long winded waffle.