Can anyone offer any advice on how to deal with this situation.
dd is in Y9 and has anxiety, depression and OCD. She self-harms, is on medication (Prozac) and sees a CAMHS counsellor once a week. She doesn’t get on with her peers at school and tends to get angry and aggressive if they don’t treat her the way she wants them to. She doesn’t have any friends as such. She also has a physical condition which resulted in her spending a few weeks a year over the last couple of years in hospital. It seemed her mental health issues started around this time but we can’t be sure it was caused by it or whether she would always have developed them. The school are aware.
Since the start of this term she has been taken to Pastoral Support on a few occasions, by different girls, as a result of her behaviour. The first time it was because she had taken 3 paracetamol to see what would happen, another because she was talking about cutting herself and the latest, which happened yesterday, was because she had cigarettes in her bag. The girls who took her said it was because they were worried about her. The school searched her bag and found the pack of cigarettes and a blade. Dd said she’d found the pack on her way home from school and smoked one (but she didn’t like it). There were 3 in the pack. The school confiscated the blade and the cigarettes and put her in isolation for the afternoon. Pastoral Support phoned dh after school to let him know what happened and said to expect a call from the head of year today.
HoY called today and mentioned that dd was put in isolation for her own safety not as a punishment but why hadn’t they done this on the other occasions? The cigarettes are the only thing that were different this time. He said they wouldn’t be taking it any further this time but would do so if it happened again 
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We are going to meet with him next week to discuss the situation but I have no idea how to handle it. I’ve been looking at the school’s policies and there is one about supporting students at school with medical conditions. Apparently once the school is notified of a student’s medical condition, the Student Development Co-ordinator will be notified and advice taken on the necessity to complete an Individual Health Plan (IHP). As far as I am aware this hasn’t happened. What should I be doing/asking in the meeting to make sure dd gets the support she needs when in school? Is punishment an appropriate response in such a situation?
Also, I am wondering if dd is doing/saying things in front of the other girls to get some much needed attention. She says she doesn't have any friends but then these girls are showing concern for her.