Advice hoped for please

[Goingtobeawesome]

I posted the below in mental health as didn't see children's mental health in the topics and since posting we now have an appointment this week. I'd still appreciate any advice. DH spoke to the lady dd will see and she sounded nice. Has already said a few things that makes us feel she can help.

DD self harming.
Doesn't want to eat.
Gender issues.

School not equipped.
Could be two months before she's seen.
told me this morning she wants to die and not in a pain to go away but to die.

We can afford private. DH has left emails and voice mails and not one has got back.

Please help. I'm worried, scared, can't breathe and feel so so guilty.

How old is your dd? Gender dysphoria can often lead to self-harming and suicidal ideation. Have you looked up Mermaids? It's a charity set up to support children and their families regarding gender issues. There is also an organisation called the Proud Trust, not sure if it's national.

You poor things , all of you . Have you got the number of the Crisis Team ? If you are really worried I would go to A &E . I rarely advise this but a) I've been in your shoes and b) I work in Emergency dept so feel justified .

I hope ALL of you get the help you obviously need . If you can go private for counselling etc , I would .

My friend works at the Priory and they have pretty good facilities for young people ( it's not just for drugs and alcohol related problems ) .

She is 12.

Thank you for the two suggestions. I hadn't heard of them.

There's also a fantastic website called the mix.org.uk that is specifically designed for 15-25 yr old and covers a huge range of subject areas. Might be worth your dd taking a look?

Doinmummy- don't feel we need A&E right now but I wouldn't hesitate to take her if necessary.

Sorry, I keep cross posting .thank you ineedchocolate, will look there too.

Sorry, missed your post saying she is 12 but perhaps you could look at the website as there are links to sevices in local areas. In my experience (counsellor ) a lot of gender issues can arise in puberty and it can be overwhelming for the child to understand why or what they are feeling.

www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/

It coincided with her starting her periods and shortly after going to secondary school but we only learnt about it fails recently .

The fact that you are there to support her will make a huge difference to her, so just be there for her.

I'm trying to be there without smothering her but the SH and wanting to die scares the life out of me. I blame myself as have had depression and I was always told my mother wanted a boy.

Sounds like this is a tough time for all the family. Make sure that you take care of yourself too. There are a lot of self-help guides out there to help re: self-harm but it really sounds like your daughter needs somewhere where she is able to talk through what she is feeling.

I'm doing my best within the restrictions she gives me.

Thank you.

Help please

First therapy session had. DD seems ok with it and happy to go again.

Yesterday or today she's cut herself a lot. All over her hands. Cross we won't let her go running alone at 10pm. feels like let me run or I'll cut myself had to cancel DH and I time alone this weekend as PIL would have a fit she'd blame the cats and they'd still have a fit