DS Autistic Spectrum, heading towards a diagnosis

[Vonnie2016]

Hi,
Just need a bit of support advice etc.
I knew there was something going on with my DS (3) from am early age. Everyone said I was being paranoid, I was even told someone very close to me I wasn't doing a good enough job with him because I refused to shout at him.
I knew his behaviour wasn't a child being badly behaved I knew it was something more.
He has since calmed his tantrums, so he is a little easier to handle.
Anyway, had 'the call' from nursery as I sent an email cataloging my concerns with him e.g delayed speech, won't make eye contact, explosive tempers, hating change to the point a new pair of shoes can terrify him, the list goes on.
They said they had the same concerns and I am to go in to go over a plan of action for him as they are almost certain he is on the autistic spectrum.
I KNEW it was coming, but to have someone say it shocked me I am obviously worried.
I have made a GP appointment as I know it can take a long time to get a referal so have started the ball rolling.
I am not sure how I am going to do this, my DH left me last year, so I am now raising two children on my own.
I'm just scared having to face all of this alone.
Anyway, sorry for rambling away.

You may find this interesting and very possible., am following with DS . and have a appointment soon next week at Genetics Clinic
Is., NHS 100.000 Genomes Project . can Google for details.
Also could contact your LA Schools Disability Assessment team, who may be able too do a Pathway Plan , after seen by Educational Psychologist they may find a suitable nursery / SEN school , with a Educational health care plan with all the support you may need. all plans are done in conjunction with community
paediatrician
Hope this helps some'

I don't know what to advise but I just wanted to send my support. There are concerns about my DS too and it is so worrying. But the one thing I will say is that it could be a number of things, diagnosis is a very difficult thing to do, many of the symptoms are similar to language delay and it is certainly not the job or responsibility of the nursery to diagnose.

Hugs. My six year old dd is diagnosed as autistic and her sister (3) is under investigation. At least with things in motion they can put the support in place although it's a hard thing to face as although they are the same child hearing the word autism attached can be really hard.

We have just had the date through for one of the testings (3DI?) and still awaiting date of ADOS.

I am not sure how long after this we will get confirmation if he is on the Autistic spectrum.

My HV referred him as I got nowhere with the GP, or the nursery, or the school in the first couple of weeks of September.

I have been pushing and questioning since he was about 3, and wish I had pushed earlier.

Nothing helpful really - except to say push - and given your sons age, use the HV if GP isn't willing to do a referral to paediatrician

Even when you are expecting to be told the problems your dealing with are due to autism it is still a shock to hear someone else say 'we think he has autism'.

Your allowed to feel overwelmed but you will get through this, your son needs you to be in his corner for him.
Yes it is hard work juggling various appointments and all around other children. I tried to continue working but in the end I was payng so much for my sons childcare I did not have any money for anything else. I quit work to become a carer for my son as that way I had more money. Might be worthwhile getting some advice from somewhere like Citizens Advice so you can make the best choices for you and your family.

Be kind to yourself, ask for an accept help so in turn you can support and help your son. My first son stood out so much his HV made the initial ref before he was 12 months old. My second son [Aspergers & ADHD] was noted at 9 months old by regional CAHMS during an appointment for his brother. They contacted our GP to make a ref to local CAHMS which took 12 months and it took till he was 3 to be seen by regional CAMHS . I the meantime I went to the GP and asked for a ref to the local Child Development Centre as well as he had very lax joints, word finding difficulties and multiple allergies on top.

I am no longer up to date with pre-school services so contact the National Autistic Society for info on what services are available in your area and how to get the best support for your son from education.

Hope all goes well and you can access the screening and support your son needs.

Thanks everyone sorry only just come back to the thread. My DS saw the HV this week and has a referal so will wait to get that appointment through soon. Fingers will see what I am dealing with.

My dd wasn't diagnosed until she was 14 but I had concerns at 2 which were brushed aside by my HV as she didn't fit the classic diagnosis

It's really positive that you are being listened to

There are various strategies that you and nursery can put in place now that will do no harm if your DS is not on the spectrum but will support him if he is

It sounds like transitions are an issue for your DS
Depending on his level of understanding a verbal countdown can work eg in 10 minutes this will happen, in 5 minutes, in 1 minute etc
Visual timetables can also help or a sand timer -nursery should be aware of these strategies, it's worth discussing them with them

The NAS also offer support pre, during and after diagnosis

Choose your battles carefully and always remember, especially when people are criticising you, that every decision you make is done with your child's best interests in mind

You are a good mum