Worried about autism is 12 week old

[NewishMum2016]

Hello,
I am a FTM to a 12 week old daughter. I have concerns about autism and these thoughts are beginning to take over my life! I've been diagnosed with PND and I'm not sure if my concerns are valid or if I'm over anxious.

My concerns are as follows: DD does make eye contact, smiles, coos etc but doesn't look for me as such. I have to initiate eye contact. She does track me across the room and watches me from a distance. She doesn't seem to gaze intently at faces like other babies. She is very 'busy', with arms and legs often in motion. She's not keen on being held unless sleepy or feeding, preferring to kick about on her gym or in her bouncy chair. She occasionally turns to my voice, but not often.

I've seen a paediatrian who didn't really have much to say on the matter. OH doesn't believe there's anything wrong.

I'm keen to hear the thoughts/experiences of others.

Many thanks.

[Sirzy]

At 12 weeks old nobody would be able to consider diagnosing anything like that even if their is something. From what you are saying she sounds adorable and like you may well have your hands full when she becomes mobile!


Are you getting support for your PND? I would focus on that for now and try to put your worries to the back of your mind and enjoy your little one.

[Flossieflower01]

She is far far too young for anyone to make judgements about whether or not she has autism. I think you need to focus on your own mental health and get assessed for PND.

[FellOutOfBedTwice]

When my DD was 12 weeks she did all of the above. Definitely no eye contact and was very physical. She's almost 2 now and completely typical (if very fond of rough and tumble!)

I think this is more a PND issue than anything. Are you on any medication?

[Devilishpyjamas]

12 weeks is too young. I watched my youngest like a hawk as I knew he was very high risk of autism - you can't really get much of an idea until around 18 months - you do really have to watch & wait until then.

FWiW my eldest is very severely autistic (non verbal in teens) & has excellent eye contact. Always did, still does.

[Devilishpyjamas]

And yes it sounds like anxiety. Forget the autism but do get treatment for the anxiety.

[ouryve]

I would say that sounds normal to me, but my kind of normal is not the news you are hoping for

I don't see any markers there that would ring alarm bells, though. She appears to be doing all the lovely things that babies of that age do. They aren't always going to look at us on cue - the world is far too interesting at that age, now they can see it more clearly.

Is there any autism in your family? There is in mine, which meant that I was more vigilant, but the stuff that eventually secured evaluations for the boys was quite extreme deviations from typical development. There was no "is he or isn't he" about it.

It would be helpful to talk to your primary HCP about the fact that you are so anxious about this.

[NewishMum2016]

Thanks for all your replies. I have started medication for my PND and have an appointment with the maternal mental health team.

It was a rough start to motherhood as DD cried pretty much every waking moment for the first few weeks! She has settled quite a bit now, but I suppose I felt I wasn't really bonding with her during those difficult early weeks. Maybe that's had an impact too.

I realise I need to try to enjoy my time with DD, especially as my constant worrying is causing a fair bit of friction between me and OH.

Thanks again all.

[SummerHouse]

I spent 6 months waiting for whatever was wrong with DS to reveal itself. I remember traipsing to the Dr with what I believed to be evidence of a curved spine (bum line skewed). He too cryed a massive amount. He is now "big four" and as much fun as you can possibly imagine. Guess what? There is nothing at all wrong with him. I think your feelings are totally normal for any mum and amplified by PND. Don't feel guilty for not enjoying time that's past or not enjoying time now. Its not your fault. You have a lifetime to enjoy her and that time will come.

[triballeader]

In honesty it does sound as if its PND giving you a very hard time.

Posting this in the hope it will aliviate some of your concerns.
My son was picked up as 'very odd' from birth. Various peads, midwifes, me, all thought something was not 'right' at birth but could not put a finger on it then.
This continued as he had input from HV, speech therapists, hearing clinic, child psychologists, occupational therapists play therapists and all.

From your post your lovely daughter is not showing any of the signposts for autism, she sounds like she is a typical baby who is simply concentrating on exploring what her own body can do so she is ready to get moving.

Between birth and three months.
DS made NO eye contact, he actively tried to avoid it. He did not smile at people, animals or anything beyond the shiney surface of a spoon.
He did not smile.
He did not like feeding.
He did not cry like a baby. He was either silent or had one single high pitched scream sans tears for everything.
He did not respond to noises that interest most children [was not deaf] but was drawn to look towards predicatable repetative noises ie washing machine.
Only happy strapped in his car seat in a moving car. Screamed in his pushchair.
Would not look at anything in the distance or close to unless it was both spinning and mirrored.
Did not engage in exploring his own hands, did not mouth anything except for one single toy that had a shiney spinning section.
Had poor body tone at birth, was born with open hands that he did not curl. Had crossed toes. His feet he kept flexed downwards. No physical causes for this.
HATED being held or cuddled to the point he would scream and scream as if being burned rather than cry. He did not kick in a bouncy chair, showed no interest in a gym or any other activity. He just lay still and watched reflected light movements.
Every single area of his development was late and delayed.

He was formally diaognosed with Kanners [Autism] at 3 as it took a while for the various teams to rule out other causes for his atypical behaviour.

[magicboy79]

Please do not worry. A 12 week old baby Isn't going to do a lot of things, bar lay and smile and sleep and kick about on a play mat, they are only 12 weeks! If you are worrying now what are you not going to be like in a few months time. One of my boys sat unaided at 5 months the other 7 months, they are all different. The fact they are smiling is a great sign. You wouldn't know about signs of autism until maybe 18 months at the earliest.

It sounds to me like you are a very caring mum who wants the best for her child but you are maybe in need of support to help you not worry like this. It is a big adjustment becoming a mum and they take over your life and it completely changes. Maybe if your birth was traumatic or something you worry more. You need to get some support to help you not worry and relax and enjoy your baby.