DS school refused when he was in Y3. Long story, but we changed schools, took him to GP, private psychologists (he was diagnosed with "general anxiety disorder") CAHMS. It was a tough time, but he was much happier when he changed schools, although he did have the odd day of just not being able to go even up to Y6. I found if I let him stay and home that day, and very firmly told him he was going in the next day he did.
We chose a high school with excellent pastoral care. And they have been excellent. DS was very happy for 5 years, and although he never seemed to actually do any work, turned up every day and got some decent GCSE results. It seemed a natural thing for him to stay on for A'levels.
It's been a bit of a shock to him how hard the work is this year , and he realises he didn't make the best A'level choices for him. He want's to start again next year at the local FE college, DH and I support him in this (except the FE college option blocks mean all the subjects he wants to do are in the same block!!)
The week before half term he walked out of school and go the train home. I told him he could stay at home the following day, but he had to go back after the holiday. This morning he got up, got dressed, packed his lunch. Then at the last minute went and lay under his duvet. DH tried to force him out, took the duvet away and told him he must go to school. DS got very distressed, DH thought DS might actually punch him (DS has a very strong fight or flight response).
I know it's all anxiety. DS has said it's the (hour long) bus journey, and the people at school. He says he will turn up for the AS exams in the summer. He seems to think he can do that without going to school between now and then.
We have a meeting with school (head of sixth form who I don't think will be at all sympathetic) on Thursday, and DH and I plan to jolly DS along in the morning.
This isn't just DS being a lazy teenager, but I'm not sure what to expect of the school, if anything. But DS can't just sit in his bedroom for the next 6 months.