Suicidal 8 year old

[Anastasie]

My son is 8 and has started to talk about wanting to kill himself.

He is very intelligent and awaiting assessment for an ASD due to certain behaviours, he is very quiet, socially very lonely and also very well behaved. He has a huge problem with anxiety and internalises a lot.

I am not sure what to do. I have emailed his SENCO who knows he has been unhappy; he was having some issues with bullying at school, which have largely been sorted out but he still has no friends.

He has one sort of friend in a different class whom he can't find mostly so he says he spends playtime alone.

I don't know what to do. He was happy at his old school but we moved in January and the school is much larger and he is lost.

Thinking of moving to another school but I think this is a bigger problem tbh than just school. He was also excited to meet his father for the first time properly, as we split up when I was pg, but his dad let us down and was a total jerk so I think part of it is that (happened about the same time as moving house)

Can anyone help?

What else is your DS saying? You say he's intelligent but struggling. When you talk with him and ask him about school is he able to tell you what's wrong or communicate anything?
When you talked about his dad after he bailed on you how was DS?
When you've discussed dad since how was DS?

I know you're waiting on an ASD referral. I would also make an urgent appt with the doctor. Without DS to begin with. To discuss your concerns.

Thank you for replying. He says that he hasn't got any friends, and that he feels unhappy a lot at school. His teachers say he seems fine.

I think he just feels like there is no point to his life. That's what he said. His big brother is very sociable and has loads of friends, but he has none, not in our street and not at school either; he just waits for his brother to play with him which obvs the 12yo doesn't always want to do. Then there is the younger one and they get on fine which helps a bit.

He went on for a while about wanting to see his dad, but I explained that just because a person is his father it doesn't make them important or part of the family - I had to say this because his dad will never be reliable.

He was quite affected by it though.
I will try and get a phone call with the Dr today.

By the way he seems to respond well to 1-to-1 with me, and cheered up a lot this morning as I gave him a lot of attention. He also seems worse when he is very tired so late at night is a flashpoint for him.

I took him all the way in to school today and though he didn't want to be there, I think having me there helped a little bit.

He's talking about Home Ed again which we did for a year after ds3 was born. I think he will do better at school, because he is getting on very well academically, but will definitely consider it if it might help him.

He was doing test papers the other day for 11+ exam and he was sailing through them, so I hope he would still be OK to take that to get into the really interesting school when he is 11...I foresee him having loads of geeky friends there one day, there is only one other computer game obsessed child at his primary. That's the elusive friend from another class.

Talking about that stuff also really perks him up.

Ok, have spoken to the GP on the phone. He says that the only way he can do it is to refer to CAMHS again, and we are already on the list, and they only offer counselling for over 18s through the surgery so he thinks the quickest way to access counselling would be to go through the school.

Not sure about this but we have a great SENCO so she will know. He said if no luck, bring ds in as he hasn't seen him for a long time (otherwise very healthy!) so I will have to do that.

not sure if anyone is still reading but I will update for my own records anyway.

The senco has replied after 24 hours and said that he does not meet the criteria for counselling with CAMHS. Suicidal ideation is seemingly not a cause for concern.

She said I could come in and fill in an Early Help form which would give us access to a panel who could then decide whether to offer him counselling or me support at home (whatever that means)

Has anyone got a clue what this involves and how long it takes? I don't want support at home. I want him not to be talking about killing himself every day.