11 yo dd with anxiety issues

[kaylasmum]

My dd has had anxiety issues for over a year now. She is really scared of being sick or becoming ill. She asks me numerous Times a day to feel her forehead to see if its hot, she totally freaks out if anyone in the house is sick, so much so that she's on the verge of a panic attack.

She has problems at school, her friends seem to drift from one friend to another whereas my dd likes to have 1 or 2 best friends, so quite often she's left with no-one to Hang about with at breaktimes. This upsets her greatly. I've spoken to the head teacher but there's only so much they can do.

She's been referred to CAHMS but there is a long waiting list. Anyone got any advice on how i can help her with these issues

We have an 11DS with anxiety. He has always been anxious but it has escalated since starting secondary.

He started insisting we did certain things to relieve his anxiety, like check out each room before he would go in. I guess that is a little like you DD wanting you to check her forehead many times a day. We tried it his way and frankly his anxiety escalated.

Now we have gone back to basics. We have made sure our boundaries and family rules are clear, that he understands we are firmly in charge.

We have told him that he needs to put his faith in us to help him with tough love. We do not give into his requests to check the rooms or anything else. He have removed the power of his anxiety and control by taking back control ourselves.
It has helped to talk to him about ignoring the anxiety or not being afraid of it, because the fear of fear is a terrible anxiety loop to get stuck in.

Whether our DS understands our strategy I don't know. So far, it seems to be deescalating the anxiety and obsession.
Hope this helps

Hi, I'm not sure I have any real advice, but I have lots of sympathy. My dd also has emetophobia (phobia of sick). She is generally an anxious kid, and has lots of other worries too, but this is the hardest to tackle. We feel that for her it's really about the lack of control she has over being ill, or other people being ill. We have tried to take some control back by having an action plan for school, etc. We agreed strategies she can try to reduce her panic (mostly CBT stuff like recognising when she's catastrophising).

We've also applied a bit of tough love (as above) and refused to discuss it too much (don't feed the worry) or give in when she's avoiding situations. I allow her hand washing rituals to a certain extent.

We had some private counselling which was ok, but I think reading books ourselves to equip us with the strength and techniques required to help her was just as useful.

She was worse when she had friendship problems at school too. It has resolved a lot since she found some better friends and felt happier in herself. I hope it passes for your daughter soon too.