Hi,
I rarely post but am struggling with my almost 10 year old's anxious behavior and could really benefit from some advice if anyone has any.
This started in the summer holidays when she came back from Brownie camp where she didn't have the best time. She's usually such a confident girl but on this camp she was the only one in her school year that went, they had to sleep in little log cabins 4 girls to a cabin with no adult. She is scared of the dark and we have the landing light on at home. She had to sleep in the dark and felt scared as there were no adults nearby, when she went to find them they eventually got annoyed and told her that if she didn't stop getting up and disturbing the other girls she'd have to sleep in a cabin alone. This seems to be when this all started, previously I had no concerns at all.
I'll briefly outline our issues. Apologies if I miss something out.
She feels sick frequently, it used to be after rich foods which she rarely eats but now it's a lot more frequent and not necessarily connected to food. Doctor prescribed Gaviscon which has made no difference.
She dwells on things. She's academically very good but not good at sport and that she's not on a team at school really upsets her and if the p.e teacher makes a negative comment she will come home in tears and be inconsolable. We've tried to help her improve but she has no enthusiasm for it and almost seems to think she shouldn't need to try.
Bedtime has become a nightmare. She starts getting anxious at about 5pm because she's worried she won't be able to sleep. It is difficult just to get her up the stairs. We've started reading to her when she's tucked up in bed to relax her, generally the reading lasts for 30 to 40 minutes. We've been to the doc and taught her breathing and relaxation exercises. We have soothing music playing quietly. She was at the top of the stairs tonight before I'd even reached the bottom saying how she was scared of not being able to sleep. Then after getting back into bed after a lot of coercion she was down again 10 minutes later as her breathing felt funny and she was panicking. She stays down with us until she's calm and then we take her back up.
Last night she finally went to sleep at 12.45am.
My marriage is suffering as we have no evening anymore. I hate seeing my lovely girl this way. The doctor just told us to carry on with what we've started. Positive thinking, relaxation exercises etc. We have Bupa but she said her condition should be manageable without a refferal and we're booked to go back in another 2 weeks.
Can anyone help me? I'm running out of ways to help. My husband is currently upstairs moving her into her younger sisters room. Even if this works her sister won't be happy long term and this will only be a temporary solution.
I just feel lost.