12 yr olds temper OCD

[loopdaloop]

I have a 12 yr old DS.
From being very small he's always had OCD tendencies although not extreme, Velcro needing to line up on shoes, the seam in the sock not sitting right, laces needing to be equal, clean, tidy and hates his things being touched.
Ex and I have ha an extremely messy separation and DS has been seen by CAMHS due to his temper and behaviour at school however they refused to see him further until we as parents had sorted ourselves out. DS currently has a social worker and is under a child in need plan. Ive agreed to everything social services have suggested, mediation etc but the ex refuses to cooperate. Ex asked DS to leave they house they shared last week, DS threatened suicide and is now living with me.
I've actually noticed this week that it seems to be his OCD tendencies that set off his temper, he flys into such a rage it actually scares me. I was dreading waking up this morning.
He had an incident at school on Monday where he stuck a piece of paper in a book, because intendant straight he ripped the entire book up in a rage.
I realise the issue does still stem from us as parents but does the OCD thing sound right or am i just clutching at straws and finding excuses?

This is a tricky one, because it could be that he does have OCD or ODD that would have manifested itself whether or not there had been family issues. Equally it could be as a result of his experiences to date, or most likely, a combination of the two. This is where the experts need to step in and assess him and I think you should try pushing for that especially if he has talked about suicide.

Why not ask about it at your next CIN meeting - say you are very concerned about his mental health and you feel he needs a proper assessment with CAMHS. I think once the suspicion re OCD/ODD is in your mind, the only thing that will properly put it to rest would be an opinion by specialists.

Bringing up children is the most difficult thing we will ever do, and as they don't tend to come with instruction manuals, we all need help along the way. It sounds as if you are engaging well with the CIN plan, so keep it up and make sure you use it to your advantage by pushing for the assessment you think your son needs.

ODD?? The OP has not mentioned that. I'm not sure how you've managed to read that into things, Infant.

OP, OCD can cause anger problems because of the huge internal anxiety and pressure to do the compulsion, and if the compulsion can't be done 'sufficiently' or 'correctly' then the anxiety increases and can spill out into temper.
I would say go back to your Dr and request another referral to CAMHS, particularly as your DS had threatened suicide. (If your DS is currently expressing suicidal feelings and you are concerned, seek help immediately, A&E if necessary). CAMHS may have felt that your relationship / parenting issues were negatively impacting on DS, but they may consider a re-referral if things have got worse.