post traumatic stress disorder 10 year old, how can I help him?

[lunatuna]

My son has been seeing a counsellor for 2 months for anger problems. She thinks he has ptsd from being the sole witness to an accident in which his little brother was very badly injured due to their dad's neglect (I am separated from their father).

10 year old ds has been extremely violent to me, very angry and destructive, and horrible to his little brother as he blames his brother (and I suspect secretly himself) for the accident as he does not want his father to have been responsible.

I am managing, sort of, his behaviour, putting in good boundaries and trying to help him to manage his feelings but desperately want to help him through this and to get my happy fun-loving child back. Has anyone got any experience of this or any advice as to how to help him?

He won't talk about what happened to anyone, and has not mentioned it to the therapist, but is expressing his anger to her (and is very much expressing it at home). He is a very strong boy, and can cause a lot of damage and pain. I'm so sad for him.

Anyone?

Thabks MrsWolowitz, feeling so sad about it all tonight

Hi. When I first started learning about attachment disorders in kids, it was explained as PTSD. Children who go through trauma very often present with similar behaviours as traumatised adults. In the past there was a level of expectation that children would just get on with it. Thankfully that has now changed.
He is expressing his anger in a place he feels safe. Perhaps you need to see his therapist and ask about recommended reading. Learn what you can. There are books like The Explosive Child which may help. It is a long road you are now on. You sound very capable and already have things in place to help him. Sorry I'm not any more help than that. Keep posting and wiser folk will be along.

Thanks ghostis. Will look up that book.

Anyone else? Really need some help

My ds (13) who has PTSD and Bipolar is doing Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) which was originally developed for Borderline Personality Disorder, but is now being used for Bipolar, Schizophrenia and PTSD. I am finding that it is amazingly effective and helpful. The therapists who do DBT are highly trained and may be difficult to find, but you can get workbooks that you can do yourself which are also very useful.

Also, you should make sure your ds' Vitamin D levels are not deficient. Vitamin D deficiency (very common in the northern countries) can have a huge impact on behavior and mood.

Thanks Sofia, will get some vitamins just in case! Glad your dd is getting the help she needs. I don't know whether to take ds to gp (or go myself for him) or whether to stick with the counsellor he has, who we found privately. What would happen if I ask the gp for help?

Does anyone know what a gp might do, refer to camhs?

I am in the USA, so can't advise on what joy you will get out of your GP. Although it does seem from afar that the attitudes to mental health are fairly backwards in the UK and in addition that the services are extremely overtaxed within the NHS. So maybe, go to your GP, but don't expect too much.....

Have you heard of EMDR therapy? There are some previous threads on it if you do a search. It's said to be very effective for PTSD.

Thanks for the replies. I've had a good long Google about treatments for ptsd, and emdr is mentioned a lot, but not clear whether this is for children as well as adults? Think might give gp a shot as dkn't really know what else to do.

Think we do have a lot of well trained counsellors in the UK, but accessing help is expensive, and NHS help seems to be rationed so harshly due to the limited budget.

Hi lunatuna
How are you getting on?
EMDR is extremely effective for children. There is a book called small wonders, healing childhood trauma with emdr, by Joan lovett worth reading. My son (just turned 11) is having emdr with a primary mental health worker via camhs. It's hard, but we seem to be getting somewhere. I've also been reading some great childhood communication books, which I try to implement in how I talk and respond, also tricky! But I feel better for it ;-). He seems to see right through it and screams at me "stop taking the piss out of me, I don't FEEL angry, I AM angry! ". Books are 'how to talk so your teenager will listen' and the same written for the younger age group, and at the mo I'm reading 'the whole brain child', which is excellent in helping understand how the cental nervous system (brain and mind) works in stress.
Principles of mindfulness and acceptance and commitment therapy are helping too.
You're not on your own.