I have the most wonderful 10yo dd

[insanityscratching]

who was diagnosed at two with moderate to severe autism. Now at ten the autism is barely noticeable to even the most knowledgeable professionals and invisible to the majority and dd doesn't struggle with anything in or out of school.
She's happy, intelligent, kind, funny, creative and empathetic and has no worries.
So what's the problem you might ask? Well dd doesn't know she has an autism diagnosis because she has never had any concerns about any differences and to be fair if there are any they are well hidden and so there has never been the moment when I've felt the need to tell her.
I've always felt that I would know when the time to tell her came because she would ask or there would be something that prompted a discussion but it hasn't come yet and as she has got more and more able the less able I feel to tell her in case it damages her confidence and self esteem which is high.
I have pangs of guilt though that I should have told or should tell her and so am torn between feeling she should know and protecting her confidence and self esteem.
Dd has no professional input and hasn't for a few years so there is no one to ask, the SENCo at school says she is unique because she neither displays any traits nor does she have any difficulties and is happy and confident with good self esteem so she doesn't know what to advise either.
So any thoughts or advice please?

'If it isn't broken, don't fix it.'

You know what we always say to those parents who come onto the SN board saying 'I don't want him to be 'labelled'. We always say: 'A label is just a tool to get your child the help he/she needs'.

Your DD doesn't need any help right now, so the label isn't going to do her any good one way or the other. It's just a historical tool that got your DD the help she needed when she needed it.

I would advise:

-Don't tell her.
-Only tell her if:

-she starts to struggle and knowing will help her to overcome that struggle/understand why she's struggling,
OR
-She has a child in the future who starts to struggle and her historical ASD dx is relevant to the presentation of that child.

Erm, could this possibly be a misdiagnosis? I know that autism is a spectrum and all that, but the child you are describing does not sound like she is on that spectrum. So no, don't tell, Could be harmful and could be a mistake.

Is it possible that your DD was misdiagnosed? Or at least that her autism is much milder than you were led to believe? It is a spectrum, after all. I can't see the point in telling her at all.

Oh no she wasn't misdiagnosed she was very autistic. She only spoke in echolalia until she was three and a half, she couldn't answer a simple question until she was four, so there is no doubt that the diagnosis was right then. I haven't asked for her to be reassessed because, well that would bring questions from dd and tbh she was diagnosed through a fantastic multi disciplinary team and now she'd go through CAMHS who I don't rate at all around here.No one asks for her diagnosis anyway but I'd probably just tell them ASD if asked.

Lougle that is exactly how I feel, it's good to know that it's not wrong for me not to tell her when she isn't asking or needing to know.