pre teen food "issues" what to do..

[MadeOfStarDust]

My DD (12) in Y8 now came home last night and told me 2 friends from her former primary school friendship group are having - for want of a better term "thin-ness competition" issues... (she left the group because she was always being called "bigger", and told she ate too much - 50th centile for height and weight - so totally average!).

Neither eat breakfast, or snack, both tip their lunchbox contents straight in the bin - and neither eats much after school as they tell their parents that they "want a bigger lunch" so eat less at tea time... they are quite open about this amongst school friends.

It worried my daughter because when they changed for PE for the first time this year she said one girl looked like a skeleton. It took a lot for her to tell me about it because of the issues she had with them about her own (normal) shape in Y8 - so I know it must have shocked her deeply...

I don't know what to do - other than I think I should do something - has anyone any experience of this sort of thing?

Oh this is so very sad, I think you need to encourage your daughter to approach their Head of Year, or do so yourself if she is worried about telling on her peers. This behaviour needs to be caught as early as possible so the girls can get the help and support they need to reform healthy body ideals.
Also keep talking openly with your daughter about it and let her know she absolutely did the right thing in telling you.

It's such a shame that girls so young can be thinking in such a way. Agree with Mogz, that these girls need some help. I'd inform the school and hopefully they will take appropriate action.

For your daughter, you need to reinforce nutrition and health. I've written a blog post about my 3 year old daughter coming home from nursery talking about being fat, and how to positively influence how your children's view of food and body image.
HTH!
your child and food/body image

thank you both....

I spoke to my daughter again last night and she is not happy to speak to the form tutor, in case of any personal repercussions..... but is happy for me to speak to him , so I arranged to phone at a specific time on Monday to have a chat... and there may already be something happening as my DD said the nurse who did their HPV yesterday seemed very concerned about the thin-ness of one of the girl's arms (the other did not turn up... she is probably aware of how things look... )

It is so sad that they think this sort of thing is so widespread and the be all and end all of some teen life... my DD (thankfully) just pulled back from it all when they started - she lost her best friend, but I am so pleased she has a head on her shoulders and thinks for herself..

Hopefully something will be done.. if not already....