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Child mental health

disturbance in social relationships in nearly 5 yo DS

1 reply

nutellalover · 07/09/2013 08:11

I have googled and researched and have found no information to help me understand DS, maybe someone on here has come across something similar.
DS is very painfully shy outside our home. He will rarely engage in conversation with adults (even family friends of years or nursery staff met outside the nursery). if an adult would ask him a question he would just stare into a space and make no acknowledgment of being spoken to. he never says hello or bye to anyone, even family or friends, even when encouraged or reminded to do so.
but here is the main problem. lately he has stopped engaging with his father. DH is a hands on dad, who works a lot but is also around working from home at times. DS has stopped answering any question he is being asked or even acknowledging being spoken to. if DS engages with him it is only shown by tucking, pulling or jumping into
him. he doesnt let DH give him a cuddle (but he is very cuddly with me), never seems to say 'I love you too' when DH tells him he loves him (DS tells me unprompted)...etc

we are starting to wonder if DS social
behaviour is within a 'normal' spectrum for a boy who is about to start reception or
if it's advisable to see a GP.

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NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 07/09/2013 23:07

I think you should look at Selective Mutism....and also see the GP without DS present. I fully understand your worry as my DD (now 9) had similar issues.

She wouldn't speak to strangers or even people she knew and yet at home was hugely articulate with a vocabulary much more advanced than her peers. She spoke to her peers at nursery and preschool but never her teachers. It took until she was 6 to get her to respond. We didn't seek help because I felt she would come out of it....luckily she did but I suspect intervention might have helped further.

Now she is 9 she is very able academically and her social skills have jumped this year...her school report has her as popular and fair minded...emotionally mature too.

We were very careful not to prompt her too much if she couldn't speak...we'd say "Oh well she's not in a talking mood today perhaps" and smile if she blanked people....never called her shy or allowed others to...we'd say "No, she's not shy....just selective about speaking."

Funnily enough, she'd not tell me ANYTHING about her day when she was younger...not one thing would she share and it worried me so much. Now, as though a lid has come off she is telling me all the little events which ocurred at school in years 1 and 2.

Your little boy sounds so similar....

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