Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you need professional help, please contact your GP or local mental health support services.
Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you need professional help, please contact your GP or local mental health support services.
Child mental health
Is dd depressed?
ExcuseTypos · 07/05/2013 16:23
Dd is 19, but thought I would post here. I think she's depressed and have made a drs app, but I'm not sure.
Her friend was killed in an accident almost 2 years ago. It's been devastating for everyone, we were all very close, but obviously for my dd it has been even more so.
She has done well in that she stayed on at 6 th form, passed her exams, got into uni etc. she's on a gap year now, but instead of going on her planned gap year tour, with her dear friend, she's working part time. I know she misses her friend so so much
.
She just doesn't get any joy or happiness from anything, she constantly moans about everything and everyone. She just seems so down all the time. She's just told me she doesn't think her life will ever be happy.
She's been having counselling for about 6 months but tbh I'm not sure how helpful that has been. Her counsellor doesn't actually think she's depressed.
Does anyone have any experience of a depressed teenager, does it sound like depression or is it grief?
I just don't know how to help her
apatchylass · 07/05/2013 22:23
Even if it is acute grief, it could still manifest as depression. The two things that sound like real depression are:
She gets no joy or happiness from anything
and
she doesn't think her life will ever be happy.
There's a name for this depression - anhedonia - it literally means no happiness. It's not normal to never experience joy. There should be moments of it every day in a healthy life.
She's lucky to have a lovely, caring mum. Can you go with her to the doc and make sure they get her to complete the questionnaire (there's a classic one for testing for depression.)
You could also get her to work on the Mood Gym - a free CBT online session that might be quite suitable for teenagers.
Finally - has anyone outright told her that she's allowed to be happy again. That it's OK to recover from a bereavement, to miss the person but to enjoy life fully. there could be some sort of survivor guilt in there.
Could you help her make a list like a silly bucket list of things she's prud of that she's done in the past (like A levels and getting into uni) and things she'd like to do in the future.
Is there anyone else she could plan to go away with on an adventure for a few weeks or months before uni starts? I feel for her - it's a horrific thing to happen. Feel for you too. It's incredibly draining living with a depressive.
ExcuseTypos · 07/05/2013 23:10
Thank you very much for replying apatchylass.
Thank you for all your suggestions. I will go in to the drs with her and I will mention the questionnaire if she doesn't bring it up. I will also get dd to look at the mood gym. She does have lots of things booked in "to look forward to" but I think the idea of planning a little adventure is a good one. I will mention that to her.
We have told her she is allowed to be happy again, but I don't think she actually believes that yet.
It is draining living with her tbh. My DH is very good when he is here, but works long hours. I sometimes feel I can't cope with it all anymore- but you have to keep going
. And I know it's not her fault, it's the awful situation.
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