Does this sound like ADHD?

[Maarias]

First of all I should say that my 7 yr old ds is incredibly bright and doing well at school. From what I've read this isn't compatible with an ADHD child, which is why I'm unsure whether its just normal boy behaviour or something to worry about...
However , he does suffer from short attention spans, fidgets a lot and has never been able to sit still for long even to watch a program on tv. We moved him to a smaller school as he was unable to concentrate at the bigger state primary school he was at and his teacher often complained that he wasn't listening. Having said that they did agree with me that he was bright, and so I thought at the time that it was just boredom....
Having said that in the last few weeks I have noticed he has had serious anger control issues, often lashing out at me and his younger brother. My dh works long hours and for some reason hasn't been the subject of anger as much.
He gets frustrated very quickly and sometimes gets violent, throwing things about when I send him to his room to calm down. His behaviour is noticeably very different from my 3 year old. Seven year old ds has had tantrums from a young age, often getting violent. One of the signs that I've noticed at home over Easter and something that he has always done is talk excessively, often to himself if no one is there to listen.
The 'not listening' at school has improved greatly with the help of the teachers and we have no concerns at the moment about how he is doing there. He has always been a stickler for rules and regulations, sometimes annoyingly so! But what really concerns me at the moment is this anger. In particular that as he gets bigger, and bigger than me, he could lash out violently at me.
If any one has any experience of ADHD please could you give me an insight as to what you think of his behaviour?
I should add that he very sociable and polite in public, and have never had any complaints about his behaviour outside tha house!
What frustrates us is that he shows all this anger to us when we give him so much affection, love and attention!
Any help appreciated,
Mx

In my limited experience, ADHD isn't something children can help so if he did have it he would be behaving like this everywhere. However the short attention span and difficulty becoming absorbed in things, like tv programmes would make me seek another opinion.
Is the a SENCO at the school to could speak to?

I'm not sure, Illmhave to ask. As I say the school is not concerned about his behaviour at the moment, so not sure whether its the right route to pursue... ,aye see the GP instead. How seriously they would take my concerns I don't know...

My DS with ADHD is very bright. He was also very much as you describe at 7. The only thing that doesn't gell is that in order for a dx there has to be evidence of the behaviours in more than one setting.

Mine was always uber polite to strangers, while violent at home and school. It's the has always been a stickler for rules and regulations, sometimes annoyingly so! that really rings a bell. For my DS there are no shades of grey. Things are right or wrong.

I would speak to the SENCO at school in the first instance.

ADHD is usually in many settings, you're describing situational triggers. Could still be a problem of interest, but ADHD doesn't fit well.

Yes in that case I would go to the GP. Hope you get some answers.

I wonder if there is any shouting in your house (sorry to be presumptuous but most behaviour children exhibit is learned somewhere) and mabe he is copying. I sometimes hear myself in the things my dd says to me and cringe because it is rude and shouty

A little late to reply but why would you have an expectation that an ADHD child would not be intelligent? There is no link with IQ and ADHD whatsoever, many children/adults with ADHD are highly intelligent and successful. ADHD is a problem with interest and stimulation, so his boredom is most definitely a pointer to ADHD. Fidgetting, not sitting still and not listening are also fairly indicative of ADHD too, though obviously a proper diagnosis would determine this.

Having an ADHD diagnosis is not a condemnation of being disordered, nor is it simply about getting medications (though they are pretty safe and effective) but it's about understanding and accepting your child's differences, providing appropriate effective support to someone with this different neurology and helping them to create an "ADHD-friendly" education and life that suits their talents and strengths - rather than to be trying to normalise. Richard Branson, Michael Phelps, Anthony Hopkins and Justin Timberlake are good examples of ADHD adults embracing their talents.

Bad behaviour and anger are NOT indicative of ADHD. However kids and adults with ADHD have more problems in managing and controlling their emotions. In time if the ADHD child is not supported/helped then they may develop behavioural issues such as Conduct Disorder or Oppositional Defiance Disorder but this only happens for some.

Many children, particularly girls, are not identified as being ADHD because of the mistaken assumptions that ADHD children are disruptive and hyperactive when the vast majority of kids with ADHD are neither. The issues with ADHD are being less stimulated, so more easily bored and distracted, less emotionally controlled, poor time sense (tend to be late, fail to plan and think ahead, procrastination), more maverick (a little less socially compliant, more likely to challenge authority - often for good reason!), and usually more creative, intuitive, empathetic and able to see the big picture.

If your child is ADHD/ADD the odds are likely that at least one parent is too as ADHD is as genetically inherited as height, so it might be a chance for one of you to get some help too.
Here's a link to a short film I made recently about ADHD and the differences that come with it. I really don't know whether you child is ADHD or not but do think it is worth serious research and a positive attitude that is they are indeed ADHD then the best option is to confirm they are and then make appropriate choices as how to best help them and that doesn't have to be medication.

Film on Integrated Model of ADHD

Hope that helps
Andrew Lewis (ADHD myself, diagnosed at 42)
Adult ADHD Coach
www.SimplyWellbeing.com

Have a look at the NICE guidelines on ADHD. It is long (664 pages) but you can skip the research and other bits and find the diagnostic criteria for ADD and ADHD. I used this when thinking about my 9 year old, realised she ticked the right boxes, so printed it out and gave the relevant page to my GP. She then referred us to the local paediatrician who put into action getting the answers from another setting which is necessary for the formal diagnosis. Don't expect your local NHS to be able to provide all that NICE suggest though - there isn't the money out there at the moment for that!

Hi Maarias, Your DS sounds similar to my ADHD DS who is now in secondary school. He is very bright and does well in school on tests etc but struggled with executive function and emotion management. His ADHD was diagnosed while he was having an assessment for dyspraxia (really poor handwriting) by an educational psychologist. It has been quite a learning curve but the whole family has benefited (albeit very painful at times) as we have had to take a look at the many aspects of 'treatment' from nutrition to exercise to family dynamics to behaviour mgt. One global expert that helped us a lot in our approach was Dr Edward Hallowell - it is worth looking at his website. He has accomplished amazing things (also very bright) and focuses on a strength-based approach to ADHD which suits my outlook and our family. He also has ADHD and has children with ADHD. Your DS may not have ADHD and I think a proper diagnosis should focus equally on ruling out other possibilities as appropriate. This is only my tuppence based on our experience and no one has the same experience - but hope it helps.