Having a child with ADHD

[liveoutloud]

My daughter is 11 years old, grade 6 now and does very poorly in school. She is especially struggling with mat and for years, we have been trying to get some help from school, but the teachers kept reassuring us that she is ok, that there is nothing wrong with her and that she will catch up. Well, last year we insisted that they get school psychologist to test her and sure enough, she told us that she probably has ADHD, Inattentive type.

I was devastated. I knew something was wrong with my child for a long time, but when I finally got the diagnose I was so sad. Anyway, we have not been to our doctor and did not discuss possible treatment yet, but I am not happy with the idea of medicating my child at such an early age. I was hoping there is someone out there with the same problem who can advise me, or just share his/her story with me.

Also, I always feel sad when report cards come home as my other two kids are doing so much better in school. I cannot express my satisfaction with their grades afraid that my daughter will be hurt, but I feel bad because I do not think it is fair for them to not get the recognition they deserve. How do you deal with this? Sad mother, very sad.

I am mum of three . I understand it. I know My older son got it since he was 18 months old but I never seem GP because I don't want any medical treatment for him.i understand it bring up a lot of upset and frustrated. Something we are feeling angry to his behavior. We always reminder him everything but it seen after 5 mins He will forgot and don't care.
He never stop til he is exhausted . Since he started in primary school He is bring a lot of troubles in public and school . He didn't do good at school .He has so much excitement , easily interrupting by another children or other noise and never concentrate . Now he is 7 but still like a 3-4 yo children, really childish ,need keep an eyes him every second. I dont no how to change his life be better .I hope he will settled when he is teen.

My daughter is the quiet type, not hyperactive, that is why it took so long to realize what is going on. We noticed that something is wrong because she was not getting far in school. Especially fighting with math, cannot get the basic concepts. We were constantly getting upset, how she could not understand. She cannot focus; sit down for a longer time. She gets agitated, complains of headaches and stuff. Her schoolwork is sloppy, she often seems like she does not listen to you and it takes he a long time to ?get? things. It is hard. It is also hard to balance attention you give to your kids. Sometimes I feel like she is getting all my attention, and it is not fair to my other kids, but this attention is often negative too. Also, I cannot praise my other two for a job well done because I do not want to hurt her feelings. Very hard dealing with this, very hard.

I am a mum of a 14, nearly 15yr old son, there have been issues since he was 4yrs old. 10 yrs of real hard time, poor sister suffering with sons abuse (Kicking and hitting) and me frankly having no idea how to cope with him.

Throughout his school life he has had problems with school, naughty being sent out of lessons etc.

Jan 2012, we are called into school, basically they cant cope with him anymore he has 3 months to improve or he is out! Luckly we had an amazing SENCO who push for an assessment with a Dr as she thought he had ADHD.

We had the assessment and he did, he was medicated, low dose to start, he now takes two tablets per day a total of 54mg.

OMG, I have my son back, he is happier at school and bloody hell, he got an A in one of his exams. His teachers are amazed at the difference in him, he is helpful, interested and just so loving.

He described ADHD as his mind working faster than he could cope with and now he can listen properly.

I would urge anyone to try medication if offered, it has changed our lives, it has changed my sons life, I feel he has wasted 10yrs of his life. It turns out he is a very intelligent boy and Im so proud of him and his achivements over the past year.

Both of my sons have been diagnosed with ADHD, but both have different symptoms. DS2 (9), is obvious - hyperactive, can't hold his attention, in his own place mentally, not really copIng at school with either the work or the social part. He now takes 28 mg concerta daily and has changed unbelievably. At first we were dead set against medication and tried so many different ways to help him. None worked. He is now thriving at school, in all ways. Life is good for him now.

DS1 (12) is a little more complicated. He has only recently been diagnosed and has major problems with concentrating at school. He last no longer than 10 minutes. As a result his schoolwork is so poor, he is failing and falling behind a lot. We have an appt with the hospital next week to discuss the diagnosis. If medication is offered we will take it straight away, no hesitating.

Medication scared us initially and we were scared DS2 would turn into a zombie, or lose his spark. Neither were true of course, we just have our son back. His quality of life is so much better for it too, he is thriving at school, he has friends now instead of being the annoying one, I could go on......

My daughter is not hyperactive, she is actually mostly easy to deal with, on a quieter side, very caring and loving and compassionate. Biggest issue for us is school. Her grades are very low, she gets really agitated when it is time for homework and she cannot concentrate either for more that 10-15 min. She will do anything to avoid doing homework, although she gets really upset if she did not finish it on time and has to go to school without it. I am very scared of medicine, although we have not yet been to the doctor, it is only school psychologist we talked to and she said that our physician is the only one who can actually give diagnosis, she only gives suggestions. So, we will see what he says. I would also love to give my daughter a chance to achieve more, she already has self-confidence issues, and living with an older brother and younger sister who are doing a lot better in school I am afraid can damage her self-confidence even more.

I have a 4 year old boy who has all the 'typical' traits of a child with ADHD. He runs around constantly, jumping on sofas, poking, pinching and slapping me and his 6 year old brother who has ASD. They are constantly fighting because of this as his brother always hits back - and harder! I spend most of my time as referee and am completely exhausted.

I also hate the term 'normal' but having been wrung out with all the endless therapies and assessments of the 6 year old, cannot believe I am going down the same road again with the 4 year old, who I guess I can admit here, I hoped would be 'normal'. He is very bright, already reads, learns things usually in a week - colours, letters, how to ride a scooter etc. but his behaviour stops him making any friends and he is, therefore, constantly attached to me.

He is all mummy's boy and whines, cries and sulks like a child of at least 2 years younger. His energy is unabounding but filling his day is no guarantee of wearing him out. In fact, having been to the Polka Theatre yesterday and a long walk, ride on the train after, must have given his brain too much stimulation and he woke me up 3 times last night. It's never-ending and I'm now counting the pennies to maybe get some part-time nanny help in the afternoons, as he is only at nursery for 3 hours each morning and I need a break, as well as getting some professional help to deal with the behavioural problems and ensuring activities keep his mind & body stimulated.

Anyone else in SW London, with a similar life? Don't normally reach out but maybe support is the answer - a problem shared and all that...

Hi liveoutloud, it might be worth seeing if there is a neurofeedback practitioner in your area, an alternative for medication that was endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics in October 2012 as a Level 1 treatment for ADHD. I must declare an interest - we have a practice in Surrey and another one opening in Herts next month - braintrainuk.com has details. Good luck.

Hi liveoutloud, I realise you posted a couple of months ago but as a mum of three with the eldest having ADHD inattentive type I can empathise with you!

I debated for ages over the idea of medication , but I felt that we had tried so many things and confidence was a huge issue. For us it was younger siblings doing better at school and this was so hard on his self esteem.

For a long time we thought the problem was that the sibling close in age to him was gifted and that was the problem. When we got them both tested by an ed psych, they turn out to both have superior intelligence, just the ADHD of the older meant he was failing at school.

We started on 10mg short acting Ritalin an the difference was amazing! The teacher on the first day was so excited about the difference, we love the difference it makes at home too.

For a small example, on Saturday mornings we always ask the children to tidy their bedrooms the 8year old and the 5year old do this really quickly and with only a little advice needed for the young one. My oldest always needed us to be in his room to say now do this or that. It was hard on all of us.
The first day of Ritalin he went tidied his room within 15 mins and even was sorting the books back into his bookshelf by colour and size!!!!! We were astounded.

Things he always wanted to do he was suddenly able to do. (We tried long acting Ritalin but that did not work for him).

I would truly now recommend anyone with a child with ADHD inattentive type to consider a trial of Ritalin.

We have had all the positive effects with none of the negative effects of the medication.

I hope you get a formal diagnosis soon and can start helping you lovely daughter, and do praise each of your children for whatever they achieve individually it is hard but so worth it.

Our daughter has just turned 8. Beautiful loving little girl with lots of character. Doesn't shout or run around like a lunatic at school but has concentration issues and is falling behind in maths, but has major issues with screaming and agression at home usually at bedtime, yet not everyday. But has been getting progressively worse. School has started the ball rolling with ADHD testing but really we are eager to get some sort of time frame in place. Does anyone know roughly how long it takes from the school putting in a referral request to a doctor, to getting a diagnosis? We are also considering giving all the neighbours a note stating that she is undergoing tests, so that they don't think we are abusing her! Its really distressing for us, not to mention confusing. How can you discipline a child for doing something naughty, when they have no idea why they did it?? I'm trying my best to keep calm with her, but i have to work, and I am tired, so in the end, I walk away from her. everyone that meets her thinks shes lovely, but they don't get to see the other side of her and i end up feeling so alone, that i just want to sit and cry. Have a great mum that we couldn't do without and she understands how I feel, but its not fair to keep relying on her. Have talked to a few people but they turn their noses up at the thought of medication, but again, they don't live with her, and I just end feeling more isolated because if i thought it would give me back my girl, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I think that inattentive types often get overlooked because theyre just no trouble, just underacheivers. This does affect everything though. Im undiagnosed innatentive type and I find it so hard to stay on track and focus, I could cry sometimes.
I know I am highly intelligent, but i have flunked or dropped out of nearly everything ive tried.

Noone really wants to have to medicate their child, but I wish somene had helped me when i was younger.