eating disorder/anorexia/weird eating?

[binth]

Posted this already in teens .In a bit of a state over as to what to do. My 17yr old dd does not eat. She has lost a lot of weight with her jewelerry and bracelets/watch that once fitted her now hanging loosely of her wrists. Her collarbones are seriously jutting out. She has made it clear that she's not anorexic and does not think she is fat yet just 'doesn't like food'. I keep saying 'force yourself' and 'only you can help yourself' but she just gets annoyed saying i don't understand. I just don't see how taking her to a doctor with a doctor telling her what foods she 'should' be eating is going to make her better! She has said she wants to eat more and she's sick of not eating properly but doesn't ever try to try other foods. Her diet consists of a cup of tea for brkfast, 2 choc bars in day and whatever 'normal' dinner i can give her she will eat some chicken or pasta as long as very plain., She told me her weight, she was abit embarassed but said it was 7.5 stone and her height is 5ft8 which makes her according to bmi 16! which is underweight. Any suggestions? I just don't see how anyone can help her apart from herself

[Tara14]

Hi, I would suggest getting her to talk to the gp, if she won't go, go yourself and discuss it, that is a low BMI, diagnosis for Anorexia is BMI 17.5 and below, so there are health risks associated with that low weight. The GP can do an assessment of her immediate physical health and get any blood tests done etc. then the gp is likely to refer her to whatever is available in your area. A big part of working with people who have eating disorders is working on their motivation to tackle it, they often see not eating as a solution to certain difficulties, and often find themselves powerless to change, do things differently, so they shouldn't just tell her what she should be eating, but work with her to manage eating and tackling any difficulties etc.... Sometimes people don't eat because of low mood, anxiety, fear of weight gain, not being able to tolerate feeling full etc etc.... She needs a proper medical assessment.

[binth]

Ok thank u. School have raissed concern and called me a few times. Only problem is she doesn't seem to have any problem with her weight so what else could it be?!

[Tara14]

Well sometimes people with eating disorders say they don't have a problem with weight, whilst they are low weight, but it shows itself to be a problem when any gain happens or is anticipated.
Being underweight as she is, is likely to make her feel very full very easily, and that can make it hard to eat, so they eat less, feel full on even less as their stomachs shrink, so cut back even more .....
They can be frightened of losing control, so would rather not eat,
It can be a very secretive, shameful problem to have, that the sufferer often struggles to understand themselves, let alone explain to others ....
Eating,disorders require specialist help, there are usually waiting lists, so get the ball rolling with the gp as soon as you can, a lot of people with eating problems turn up at services because their families have made them go because they are worried, and services are used to dealing with that tactfully and sympathetically. For more general info check out BEAT national eating disorders support.
www.b-eat.co.uk/
Best of luck with it all

[Mumtutu]

Hello

In my experience eating disorders are NOT always to do with worry about being fat. There are such things as 'atypical eating disorder' and 'food sensitivities'. My DD1's eating problems stemmed from emetophobia (fear of being sick) and have now morphed into some kind of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - not had a formal dx. DD's whole approach to eating is governed by an overwhelming set of 'rules' that she kept secret for a long time. We definitely need specialist help to tackle these 'rules' - there is NO WAY of reasoning with DD1 about this (or bribing, threatening, cajoling). After months of waiting, DD1 is now seeing specialist CAMHS team, dietician, and paediatrician.

There can also be many physical reasons why people don't feel like eating. And poor nutrition can then further exacerbate anxiety problems, lessen appetite etc.

It can take months to get to referred to the right people, so if I were you, like other posters say, I would get things moving with the GP now. Take this chance while she is still under your roof to see if you can help her to get to the bottom of things. Good luck .

[blameitonthecaffeine]

Just because she has 'made it clear' that she is not anorexic does not mean that she isn't! Nor does the fact that she eats chocolate bars. Not all anorexics are obsessed with healthy food and not all them are obsessed with their weight and size, it can be a purely emotional/appetite/control thing.

anorexia nervosa literally means nervous loss of appetite which sounds very like your daughter. I think you are right to be concerned and take her to the doctor.

I have a 13 year old currently in residential treatment for anorexia for the second time and she is STILL assuring me with a smile that she doesn't really have anorexia she 'just doesn't get that hungry and lost a bit too much weight'. The sneakiness and self deception with this thing is never ending!