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Child mental health

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How to get DD1 (8) counselling after separation?

8 replies

ninja · 21/01/2012 18:34

H and I separated in Sept after telling DD1 in July.

DD2 is 3 and has bounced back, but I'm really worried about DD1 (8) who seemed so mature and coping at first.

She went back to wetting the bed initially (she also did this when dd2 was born) but that has stopped and I thought that maybe her temper and anxiety would clam down

She's always been a bit anxious and likes to be in control, but now she has these great fits of anger when she lashes out (usually verbally rather than physically). She hates me regularly, gets very upset and just can't get herself out of it. She hasn't had as many problems with exH but then he doesn't deal with the day to day stuff and have to say no to her as often!

Recently it's been happening outside of the home too and her Drama teacher has said that she needs to take some time out from the class as 2 weeks ago it was 'the worst drama class in the world' and this wek she said she hated the teacher. She's also been rude to my friend who gives her a lift.

She is also having problems sleeping some of the time (although this has always been a bit of an issue), and she's often just sad - although you wouldn't think it from the happy sounds now!!

I think I've probably let her get away with more than I normally would and now I'm expecting her to accept what I say it's hrad, but it's more than just that.

I really think she or I (and her dad for that matter but he won't accept there's a problem) need to talk to someone to try and work out how to deal with this but I'm not sure how to get help.

Do I go to the GP? Are there charities to approach, has anyone here got any advice?

ExH is being quite difficult (with me) and that's taken up too much of my energy plus just trying to cope myself and I feel bad I've left it this long Sad

OP posts:
ninja · 21/01/2012 19:29

bump - any ideas?

OP posts:
HauntedLittleLunatic · 21/01/2012 19:35

I have no idea.

I am suffering similar challenges with one of my Dds (10), under similar circumstances.

Her teacher is being great and is providing afterschool outreach sessions off her own back to try and avoid a camhs (child and adult mental health services) referral. That would.be.one route to a counsellor and your Dr could refer.

Our school has a family outreach worker that this is bring done in consultation with. Do you known if your school has similar? Or.just arrange to talk with school nurse. They will certainly know where to direct you.

amberjane · 21/01/2012 19:40

hi ninja, my dd3 age 8 is suffering too. Cant offer much advice but did not want to read and run.
When we developed problems we were referred by school to camhs or you can go via your gp.
hope you get some help soon, it takes a while to get an app so sooner you approach it the better, good luck

ninja · 21/01/2012 20:21

Thanks - I suspected time would be an issue which just seems so unfai on kids particularly.

Good idea to ask school nurse, I guessed I'd go to the GP myself would I?

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amberjane · 21/01/2012 21:13

Hi again, my dd had some 121 with worker at school but no help so they got who I assume is school nurse or senco to refer to camhs, if they had not I would have been down my gps like a shot as her anxiety and stress got worse and increasing.
Appointment end of Feb for inital assesment, then if they take us on a waiting list am assuming from other posters, see camhs thread from earlier.....

HauntedLittleLunatic · 21/01/2012 21:39

That's useful for me too amber.....I really think that dtd1 will end up with a camhs referral. I think she will/does need it. I might press for one sooner rather than later. I didn't realise there would be a waiting list.

HereIGo · 21/01/2012 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ninja · 21/01/2012 22:08

I'm trying - trust me and tbh most of that is hidden, not all but most. He's certainly not adverse to arguing in front of the kids or bringing them in.

Thing is - things will never be the same in her world, she has 2 houses. As I say she's less of a problem for him, gets up early, gets herself and DD2 dressed and breakfasted .... then I get the fall out.

I noticed some of the behaviour before we split up and it's not surprising - I can see the way ExH used to speak to me in her and I feel so sorry that we put her through that. However, I also hear her speaking to her friends and cousins like that and it's not good.

She's too young to be soooo angry

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