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Original poster

periods - 15 yr old won't use towels

125 replies

Tidyyourroom · 20/04/2011 16:34

My sister has told me that her 15 year old (who started her periods about 18 months ago) flatly refuses to use sanitary towels, and instead makes pads from toilet paper. She then insists on flushing it down the toilet, which on two occasions has resulted in her having to call a plumber.
My sister has talked repeatedly to her about this, supplied her with every type/brand of towel on the market, but my niece just says they are all uncomfortable, and continues to use toilet paper. She assures her Mum that she is using towels, takes them out of the packets, and hides them all over her room. This results in her underwear becoming soiled, which she also hides all over her bedroom.
I have offered to talk to my niece, but her Mum feels that her daughters' trust in her will be destroyed if she finds out that her mother has told me. My sister is in despair about this, and I would appreciate any advice/comments. Thank you.

OP posts:
Melly19MummyToBe · 22/04/2011 15:33

Can I just ask again, WHAT is a mooncup???

nickelbaalamb · 22/04/2011 15:35

this is a mooncup

Melly19MummyToBe · 22/04/2011 15:56

Ewwwww this bit is gross!!!
"It also means I can save the blood for my plants and my paintings."
Why on earth would you want to do that??? [buconfused]

nickelbaalamb · 22/04/2011 16:01

not for paintings, but blood is very good for vegetables lots of gardeners use Blood, fish and Bone on their garden as fertilizer (it's normally animals') but this way, even a vaggie can do it! [bugrin]

Melly19MummyToBe · 22/04/2011 16:03

Bleurgh.

WOW!! Even the BISCUIT has ears! [bubiscuit]

littlepigshavebigears · 22/04/2011 16:05

lol at "vaggie" Grin

deemented · 22/04/2011 16:09

I too think she may be embarressed about what to do with the used pads afterwards.

Wilkinsons do some purple 'pop ins' they're called, and they have a lavender scent so hide any nasty smells. Give her a pack or two of them and a lidded bun for her bedroom.

nickelbaalamb · 22/04/2011 16:09

I meant veggie! [bublush][bublush]

ChristinedePizan · 22/04/2011 16:13

Yeah right nickel :o

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 22/04/2011 22:23

Erm, at what point did I say she has to ask? Hmm I said she can take them when she wants to.

She usually asks me because she can't be arsed to get them herself :o

NorthernGobshite · 22/04/2011 22:41

I never understand why anyone would use towels or buy them for dd. I used tampons as soon as I began menstruating at 14. My Mum had already been open about them, shown me them etc and I will be doing same for my dd.

thisisyesterday · 22/04/2011 22:46

erm, because not everyone likes tampons?

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 22/04/2011 22:49

I couldn't use them when I first started at 12. They just hurt and wouldn't go in.

Didn't use them until I had lost my virginity.

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 22/04/2011 22:57

BTW I do realise that our bedroom is not the ideal place for keeping their stuff, but that is where they (DSD is a twin) asked us to keep them - they chose a little storage thing for it.

It was that or the living room, the bathroom is absolutely tiny. Believe me if we could afford a place where they could have their own room, we would have moved there by now :(

They really don't mind this - I'm sure she would be embarrassed to ask for STs, which is why she's got very easy access to it all, but asking for/fetching clean undies (or any other clothes) just isn't an issue for them. It's 2 separate things.

bellavita · 22/04/2011 23:07

I was just 11 when I started my periods (I am 46 next b/day), my mum gave me some god awful huge towels that were like boats and a belt. I felt so self concious. She finally succumbed to letting me have tampons when I was about 14.

I have boys, but if I did have a girl - I certainly would let it be her choice from the start.

I also recommend those "poppins" to dispose of the towels/tampons.

Your poor niece.

bleedingstill · 22/04/2011 23:07

I don't blame her for wanting to use loo roll. Ideal medium for absorbing menstrual blood - and constantly available.

The only real problem is a plumbing one . Get her a lidded bun for the loo and teach her how to use the washing machine

boosmummie · 22/04/2011 23:19

My two older DDs started their periods at 11 and 12 and both used tampons immediately. I had my first period with towels (11.5) and that was enough for me - straight on to tampons, almost 30 years ago.

I feel for your niece. HOpe something can be sorted that works for her soonest.

ravenAK · 22/04/2011 23:25

I actually quite often use loo roll. Mostly I use old cut up towels, but if I'm in the wrong bathroom when I notice I've come on, then I'll absentmindedly shove a pad of loo roll into my knickers.

I can't abide the chemical, sickly smell of STs - & I remember it really making me boak as a teenager, so this might be an issue for your dn?

(I do use tampons if I'm at work, say - it's if I'm pottering about at home that I just use washable towelling).

bleedingstill · 22/04/2011 23:49

raven I use loo roll when not organised with tampons.
I find sanitary towels a bit YUK as lo rolls are just as effective end more convenient

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 22/04/2011 23:57

I seem to remember learning about tampons in school and hearing that whether they hurt depended on if the hymen was broken, which could happen naturally early, or it might (as I'm guessing mine did) remain intact until you have sex.

For some reason horseriding comes to mind as something that can cause it to break due to the position you sit in, but goodness knows if that's true [bublush]

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 22/04/2011 23:58

Sorry my point was, tampons aren't necessarily the answer because if she's still intact they could really hurt (worth a try obviously)

pooka · 23/04/2011 00:03

I also used tampons from first period at 11/12. Loathed ( and still do ) the feeling of towels.

A1980 · 23/04/2011 00:09

There might be more going on here than just saying they're uncomfortable.

If she's hiding her underwear it suggests she doesnt want people to know she has a period. Toilet paper is not more comfortable, it breaks down, rips easily and sticks to you body. it also itches.

I know this becasue it's exactly what I used to do when I had my periods. My older sister had anorexia and she didn't get periods until she was 17. I got them at 12. I was the dirtiest most disgusting thing on this earth when i got them. She taunted and teased me mercillesly. She used to pick the bathroom lock while I was in there and come and laugh at me. She called me a dirty bitch, said she didn't want to be near the "dirty period bum" when I had it. She told me i left the bathroom smelling disgusting. This went on for years. I lived in fear of getting it and tried to hide. My mother kept finding out and this resulted in both of them shouting at me at how stupid i was for not using towels and hiding it with my sister shouting the loudest at me. My mtoher was aware but did nothing about her behaviour becasue she was so stressed about her anorexia. All was off the radar including me and my brother for that fucking bitch of a sister of mine.

I had hang ups for YEARS about it. Took me a long time to realsie that it is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. I hate my sisters guts for that and 15 years later I have not forgiven her. Mainly becasue as soon as she got hers at 17, that was fine.

I'd see if soemthing else is up. Why is she hiding it?

bleedingstill · 23/04/2011 00:46

A1980 you just made an overgrown woman cry. I want to give you a cuddle. You poor baby, that is just awful

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 23/04/2011 00:50

Jeez A1980 that is absolutely awful. I'm so sorry you went through that x