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Funny hen story

9 replies

BookwormBeryl · 31/01/2026 19:41

Hi, I have just joined and am involved in another thread about school stories. But I wanted to say that I have had hens for four years now and dont regret a single minute. They are lovely sociable creatures and hilarious too. Here is what I hope is a funny story.
For two years I had my two Essex girls - Sharon and Tracey no less. Tracey sadly died in May last year (I was heartbroken and cried for a week, mad or what?) and I did not know what to do. Keep Sharon on her own, risking that she might pine, or try and rehome her? I could not consider anything else due to decreasing mobility issues. So I went down the rehoming route. The first chap I asked said he would not add a single hen to his flock of two as she would be pretty much eaten alive. I then phoned a local refuge who said they would be delighted to have her but at my request sent over some photos. The place was very off putting - rough and tumble, (hens love that of course) but very shabby and unappealing. My husband, who is very practical took one look and said 'I'm sorry, our Sharon (yes, OUR SHARON) is not going to a place like that!' I creased up. It was like we were vetting future boarding schools like Roedean for a daughter. (We turned out to have done the right thing because apparently a week later a fox got in there and killed all 15 hens).
Third port of call was a lovely lady who worked in a nearby garden centre who I knew had hens and rehomed. Would she have my Sharon? I asked. She was hesitant. 'The thing is', she said, 'my lot are positively feral. Not sure she would survive'. Then she had an idea. 'I have got a lovely big coop on the far side of the field though, but there's only one in there...and he's a cockerel'. 'What?' I said. 'No other hens in there?' 'Nope', she replied. Words with husband again and we decided that there was no way we could let our virginal Sharon in with a cockerel - she'd never seen one in her life, let alone had the experience. 'Just think, I said to him. 'She'll be raped several times a day. I cant have that for our lovely gentle Sharon.'. My husband wasn't sure. 'She might enjoy it', he replied, but I was not persuaded.
So at the end of the day I went on the hunt for another hen, found little Stacey a few miles away and brought her back here. They bickered (of course) for about two weeks but are now, after a few months, the very best of friends. She is a dear little thing, lays a beautiful brown egg every day (and so far all this winter) and I do not regret one minute having got her. I might think of a third one this spring but still weighing up. They really are lovely. When troubles strike, I go and feed them, clean out the house, have a long chat with them about the world and all is suddenly well again. Highly recommended.

OP posts:
MerelyPlaying · 31/01/2026 19:50

I love your names! Completely agree - hens are such a joy and bring the garden to life.

You did the right thing, it can be difficult to introduce a single hen to an established flock. I hope Sharon and Stacey continue to give you lots of fun and eggs.

Summerhillsquare · 31/01/2026 19:51

How lovely. I miss my chooks.

WinningBV · 31/01/2026 21:25

You've never heard of chicken maths? If you can fit one more that actually means you need to get three.

BookwormBeryl · 01/02/2026 07:42

Yes, I fully accept I should have gone for 3. Thats why I am weighing up a third one. Two is too few, definitely, you are quite right.

OP posts:
Marylou62 · 01/02/2026 10:09

Oh this is such a lovely story (well not all of it!)
My lovely late DPs decided in later life to re-home some x battery hens.
So in came the builders who erected a huge house. I could have moved in! Filled it with only the best bedding and stuff on the ground?
Of course the hens fought and bullied each other, got mange, needed extra stuff to help with the egg shells.(? I'm not a hen keeper so bit vague here). My parents weren't short of a bob or two so the little scruffs were never out of the vets.
They absolutely ruined my parents pristine garden and turned it into a mud bath. (Dad liked them pottering about the garden). Watching my elderly parents trying to round up the blighters was so funny. (Of course I eventually helped them but had to watch and laugh for a while. And video it to show my brother's).
These hens had a wonderful pampered life (dad bought one of those garden heaters for them).
Eventually they died one by one over a month. Old age I was told.
But oh the joy they gave my DPs was lovely. They sat on their laps for cuddles. They (knocked) pecked at the door to be let in. They waited patiently at my dad's feet for treats like dogs.
They were missed terribly. And they laid well. Huge brown eggs with almost orange yolks.
Listening to my Dad
Chatting to Betty was hilarious.
We once totted up costs.. house, food, bedding, vets bills and medication... Etc etc.
We worked out that every egg probably cost about £10!.
It was wonderful for my parents but they didn't ever replace them..

BookwormBeryl · 01/02/2026 12:39

Marylou Thats a great story. The most important thing is the pleasure they gave your folks. I must admit to pampering mine. I used to cook them little extra dishes (say pasta, or some greens) until they went off their pellets and wouldnt settle for anything else. I have managed to wean them off the Michelin star bit. The thing I worry most about in the winter is them being cold at night. 4 years ago we hooked up a little radiator (protected by a mesh wall) but it kept going wrong, so now they have a wooden cupboard up three steps inside a bigger shed, with plenty of straw. The cupboard is insulated with thermowrap all round (got that from an American hen-keeping website, with temperatures at minus 20 they are a resourceful lot over there), 4 old duvets on the roof on top of the cupboard with silica sachets to get rid of damp, 2 old moth eaten but pure wool blankets and wait for it - my nan's old fur coat! If she were still here I dont know what she would say. I have avoided vets - just cant afford them - but have managed with medicines and antibiotics. My husband reckons I treat them better than him.
I love them for their entertainment and just being there in an uncertain world.

OP posts:
BookwormBeryl · 01/02/2026 12:42

PS: if anyone else has got funny hen stories please post! They certainly cheer everyone up.

OP posts:
Marylou62 · 01/02/2026 19:24

Your hens sure are looked after.. watching Mum and Dad tho hasn't made me want any!

highlandponymummy · 08/04/2026 06:51

Just found this lovely thread! Your post made me laugh out loud OP. I've just had 2 Brahmas, Winnie and Edna. They're named after our late Grandma's. We used to have them around 7 years ago and after they died I gave up. I'm loving having them again, they are such wonderful characters.

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