Neighbour has reported my hens

[OhWesternWind]

To environmental health!! I am really shocked and upset that she didn't come and speak to me about it. She said I was keeping a noisy cockerel (untrue), that they were dirty and not looked after (untrue) and smelly (usually untrue). She also said it was against my lease - again untrue but how the hell would she know?

The environmental health woman came round and saw them and said she had no concerns.

I don't know what to do now though wrt neighbour. Should I mention it? I was also thinking of putting an old but tidy door against the fence to help block potential noise/smell/nosiness. Do you think this would help? I can't afford proper fencing at the mo.

I am really fed up as this woman is happy to take eggs, plants etc off me and borrow stuff off me. I had thought we were friends. She is also pretty noisy herself - dog barking, loud tv and shouting and carrying on late into the night, not to mention the bloody wind chimes! I know it was her due to some of the specifics of the complaint. Don't know what to do really but I feel upset out of all proportion.

Those specifics definitely couldn't have been from another neighbour could they? It sounds odd that she's happy to accept eggs if she disagrees with you keeping chickens.

If you're friends, couldn't you ask her? Just say somethings along the lines of, 'I'm so sorry my hens have been bothering you. The EH lady says that no action needs to be taken, but I'd like you to be happy, as we're friends. Is there anything specific that I could do to make it better?'

Then she'll either, fess up to reporting you and tell you what bothers her most, look baffled, or be so humiliated by her sneakiness v your reasonableness (is that a real word??) that she'll pretend to be baffled and never mention it again .

If all else fails, will you come and live next door to me? I love a nice fresh egg!

You could always return the favour, re the dog and other noise! Or you could always borrow my cockeral that would give her something to moan about and I'll have him back before the EH come back.
TBH if the enviromental health woman says she has no concerns then you have nothing to worry about. Next time you supply some eggs to the said neighbour say "these could be the last lot you have because some really stupid person (you don't have to be so polite) has reported me to the council and they're considering what to do. Lay it on thick, tell her that if they make you get rid then you will have to get someone round to dispatch (give gory details) them and the kids would be distraught and tell her what you think of the person who did it and that you couldn't think of anyone who would be so petty. Just watch her face, it'll be a picture!!!

Thanks for your messages! I am torn between a bit of tit-for-tat reporting, or talking to her, but she was off with me when I saw her down the garden the other day and said hi. Maybe because I have put up a bit of brushwood fencing against the bit of low fence where she was always peering over and nosying at the hens and what we were all up to . . .

I just think the whole thing is really sad and I still feel down about it and wonder why on earth she couldn't have said something to me. I have been kind and friendly to her since the day we moved in and helped her out and lent her stuff, so she doesn't think I am scary/unapproachable or anything! It is sad to realise that we will probably stay "fallen out" whatever happens next, and I really miss my lovely neighbours where I used to live. I just wanted to get along with her and be a good neighbour but I am finding this really hard to get over. I would have moved the hens down the garden if she'd just come and asked me and given me a hand to move the coop!