I hope this is not too cheeky but could anyone help me with this?

[Notalone]

I don't know the rules regarding this so I apologise in advance if I have unwittingly broken an MN rule by posting this.

I am a MN regular and am now at uni studying Occupational Therapy. For one of my assignments we have to choose a community of people and discuss in length any difficulties they have had in society and / or as a result of mental / physical disability. I can't choose between military or carers so thought I would see if I could get any feedback on here.

If possible I would like to get your perspectives on life as a carer. What difficulties have you had in society as a result of being a carer? What assistance have you had? Has there been any service that has been a godsend to you? I appreciate this is a highly sensitive and emotive subject so if you would like to share anything but not on here I would be more than happy to email instead.

Thank you so much in advance - I hope I have not upset anyone by posting this.

Hello notalone

I'm more than happy to talk!

I've been a carer to my mum completely for 6 years but as she was diagnosed wtih MS when I was just 2, I guess I've cared all the way really (esp as an only child with a dad who was a workaholic!!)

difficulties in society - none that spring to mind other than lack of support from the NHS when mum is an inpatient. they won't tell me anything over the phone and as an ex-ward sister I get cross becasue they know who I am, mum tells them they can tell me, I have attempted to set up a password face to face so we can communicate using that over the phone but, NO! so i have to trek in with 4 kids under 7 to speak to staff who usually still can't tell me estimated discharge etc.

People do tend to talk to me about "her" when I am pushign her in the wheelchair - that's a bit annoying but I normally say "she can hear and talk" if I'm in a bad mood, or turn the question to mum - usually i only need to do that once to get the hint over.

assistance - they set up carers, 15 mins am and 15 mins pm so I can rest assured that she has carers to get her washed, dressed etc. they also charge us £700 per month for the privilege!

there is a carers society that have been great - as you can probably tell from my post mum is currnetly "off legs" in hospital and I am experienceing lots of stress as I can't drive due to major surgery 3 weeks ago but the carer's association have a helpline to listen to my gripes (not that i've phoned them but did email once)
the district nurses who change mums catheter once a month are also diamonds as they listen to our needs and how we feel and set up lots of the carer bits and piece to make our life easier

Ouchitreallyhurts - thanks very much for this. It must be so frustrating sometimes - particularly in relation to the not giving you information. I am that people don't address your mum too.

I hope you are recovering from your op - thank you so much for taking the time to write this for me