Supporting autistic partner convinced teeth are loose despite dentist reassurance

[Snowdrop1986]

Im a carer for my autistic husband and his latest obsession is his worst yet as he is adamant his teeth are loose, dentist says they are not. Developed pain and got an xray - his teeth are in perfect condition. I dont know what to say or do to help him

Oh this was me for years!

Autistic and also convinced my teeth were loose.

I'm slightly convinced one tooth is still loose as it has more motion than the other ones even though the dentist has said it's fine.

I was never really offered any support from the GP for it but they did briefly mention that OCD and trichotillomania for which I have also suffered from can play a part in it.

The trouble is focusing on a sensation that feels uncomfortable can be all consuming when you're autistic due to monotropism and heightened senses.

I sometimes get the urge to just pull my teeth out myself because they're so uncomfortable despite there being no issue or cause.

His dentist should however also check for temporomandibular function as sometimes the nerves around that area of the face can lead us to heightened awareness of the area, and autism can affect how you experience pain and other sensations, making those of us with iffy interoception unreliable narrators when it comes to discussing sensations, ie. Pain for pressure, or not being able to pinpoint the exact location or misnaming locations.

I don't think there's anything you can do other than encourage him to speak to his GP about other possible causes for these sensations.

Forgot to say, my dentist reassured me that some wobble is normal and is evolutionary for in case of facial impact, but also to brush my gums as well as my teeth as it will help keep them firm.

Is it possible that he actually does have teeth pain? I have numerous very real horrible conditions. One is a neuropathy so you burn all over. My teeth and tongue hurt alot. They feel loose often. I know they aren't loose. The sensations are so strong it's unpleasant and feels like teeth are slack.

I don't fully understand your husband's situation. Whether he regularly feels something is wrong, whether it's an OCD thing etc.

People are so so readily dismissed when they are experiencing something physiological.

Autistic people are known to often have real issues with the sensory aspect of teeth and teeth brushing. I would support him and validate aspects of this tbh

The loose teeth - all you can say is that you understand it must be a horrible feeling to have that sensation. The great news is there is no way your teeth are loose. A dentist will not miss loose teeth.

I'd look up how professionals suggest one addresses these fixations. There must be an approach they advise online to help someone deal with it if it's dominating his thoughts.

If there's a general anxiety/!fear problem ( something many Autistic people deal with), is a trial of medication an option? You can always cut tablets into half or quarters and start so low then you're safe and side effects much less a problem.

Might it help a bit if you give him the scientific explanation- as I understand it, the periodontal ligaments attaching teeth to the jawbone have a bit of give in them as a safety feature in case you bite on something hard- it gives you a split second to realise and stop biting. If the teeth were fused to the jawbone, being so hard they would act as a chisel and split your jawbone if you bit too hard. So teeth are meant to be very very slightly mobile. Look at it this way- a climbinb rope- that can hold the weight of a minibus I was told- has a lot of stretch in it. Even steel is flexible.

Just to throw this in - I would not mention this to your husband at all as it might set off more worry and may not be relevant.....

Ehlers danlos syndrome is connected to neuro divergence. There is some genetic link between the two. EDS looks like hyper mobility/ very flexible. But what it actually is, is a defect of collagen. So every part of you is more slack. It affects people in multiple ways. Many would never even realise or have any issues.

I have EDS. Teeth issues are apparent for me. They do move about over time possibly more than a regular person. I have TMJ problems, small fibre neuropathy everywhere including teeth. My tongue will burn like hell sometimes, usually a food or smell sets it off. Antihistamines help. No scan or dentist will see this.

So basically - there is so often something more behind these things. Doctors really do not know all there is to know. OCD / anxiety sounds like part of this in husbands case. But it's possible there's an interplay of other things.

EDS 3 is the hyper mobile type most associated with being ND. There are rare severe types hence I would not mention as that could set off terrible fear unnecessarily. The more severe type is vascular EDS, not this which I refer to and myself have.